Never Left
by Nymeria-TheLostWolfQueen
Summary: The last scene was incomplete of SoA. Meet the true ending. Hana. An ordinary person trying to find herself one step at a time. On her way to doing just that she saves a man who was struck by a speeding truck drive. Here she enter's the dark, yet thrilling world of a bikie gang. *Sons of Anarchy was not created by me at all*
1. Chapter 1

**Never Left**

 **Capter one**

I looked around the house one last time and found empty rooms staring back at me. This was going to be a fresh new start so i might as well get my but into the car and get to my new house in Charming.

In my little Astra, i drove with the window's down. It was a very hot day so i wore a tank top and short shorts that showed the whites of my legs. It wasn't a very attractive look but who really cared these days. No body was going to be really looking at the but me. So who cares, right? I got to the nearly the end of the highway when a large truck past me from behind. Angrily i wanted to shout at him for going to fast for a truck but then again, what could i do?

That's when i heard it. The bike, the truck and my car. Stopping. I threw open the door and ran to the man who was flung from his bike. I began to do CPR, while the truckie called 911. In the second attempt, he flickered his eyes and finally opened them. Groaning he tried to talk.

"Easy mate, don't try and sit. You just got hit by a truck, literally. The ambulance is on their way ok? My name Hana" I said calmly and placing a hand on his heavily tattoeed and blood soaked arm.

"Jax." Cough."Teller." Cough. "I'm Jax Teller."


	2. Chapter 2

_**I first want to say athank you for reading this fanfic. Now i have threegood reviews so farand that is truly what keeps me going at night to be honest. So thank you thank you. I am so glad somebody likes it. After all, Jax has always deserved to live. Has he not. _Nymeria**_

 **Chapter two**

St Thomas was a very respectable hospital, the nurses kept telling me. As did the police. The police asked to get a statement from both myself and the man who was on the bike. Jax. I didn't think he would make it. There was an awful lot of blood. Some of it is on my shirt. One of my favourite shirts too.

'Miss Night."

I turned around and saw the Police official who warched me the whole time at the hostipal. I stood up and followed him into a small, lightly lit room. I pushed my fringe out of my eyes ans sat down at he chairs and table. He fell suit.

"I have been told that you are only new in town, so i am vey sorry that you have witnessed such an awful experience in your first day un Charming." His face seemed genuine and yet he could quite easily tricking me to say something untrue. I may be new i thought to myself. Does he really think i'm that stupid to just give him over. I think that answer would be a yes.

"Miss Night. It may have come to your notice that we are not letting you go. This is due to a number of things." He got up and walked around the room, gazing at everything he saw. This made me wary in more ways then one. I hadn't even done something wrong either.

"One. You witnessed a crime where a truck driver had sadly passed away two Jax Teller, leader of Sam Cro was behind it and three. The rest of Sam Cro has gone MIA." He glanced at my face at that. Bright blue eyes stared and pierced through me. I stood up and tried to look and sound confident.

"Look Mister, i'm here because i just saved a guy from dying. I want to get to my new home so that i can take a shower. So thank you. But i have to go" I said getting annoyed, i had reached the door when he spoke.

"We might be in touch." With that, i left him in the room so that i may find my car to reach the place i now will call home.


	3. Chapter 3

***** **Thanks everyone for the favourites and the reviews and the such. I'm in a bad place at the moment mentally and writing helps. So people actually enjoying this and reading and wanting more is a postive reinforcement that keeps me going through the day. Thank you so much. I just hope i don't let you guys down. So to continue, Hana has just moved in to her new place and is settling in well. We start with a little trip down to the corner store...**

 **Chapter 3**

Charming, I have found is a place filled with charmers. Just walking down the ,ilk isle down at the corner store allows for people to show just how much gossip is used in this town. Expecially about Jax Teller and his crew. Not that i knew he had a crew atthe time of the accident, but still. Since i just moved in people seemed to want to sort of "shield" me of what their little town was really like. But the charm seeped through the unavoidible cracks. I looked up the prices of a 3 litre bottle of milk and swore. For a rich town they sure liked to show it. $4.50 for a 3 litre bottle of milk was beyond a joke. Yet there it proudly stood in all it's glory. In this town i was going to need to find a stable job to pay for all of it. I never had that much money, i always got by though. If i knew this was going to be an overly expensive place to live i would have picked somewhere else to move in. Oh well. At least my house was good to look at. I got the milk and a loaf of bread ( the cheapest being $3.50) and made my way to the checkout. There was a line up with two other ladies talking about no other but Jax.

"I heard he up and left the club and is really undercover for the police all this time. That's what I heard but that's stupid. He would never do that to the club, would he?" asked the lady with the apples. Glancing at me briefly before looking at her friend.

"Never. It's ridiculious. He doesn't work for the police, his club up and left him and his first wife stole his boys. That's what happened. Working for the plice... Ha! Jax Teller is the worst kind of criminal you can get" stated the woman with steak and peas in a matter of fact voice. The guy at the cashier zipped her steak and peas through and gave her the price of her purchase. She left with a wave to apple lady and walked out of the store.

"You must be new here."

I looked up and saw that the apple lady was in fact talking to me. i hadn't been really paying attention. I nodded slightly.

"My name is Tish. Were you the one who found..."

"Yeah." The apple lady paid for her shopping and the guy began scanning my milk and bread.

"That must have pretty horrible. You saved his life though, he would have died if it weren't for you, that's what my sister said. She is a nurse there at St Thomas Hospital. She said without you and your helped he would not have made it out of that alive. Your some kind of guardian angel." She smiled at me.

"Catch you around, ok?" She walked out the door to the guy saying the cost of the items i bought.

 **In the reviews, guess who apple lady is... :) :) :)**


	4. Chapter 4

***Enjoy :)***

 **Chapter 4**

Jax

Getting hit by a truck isn't pretty. I have multiple broken bones in my arm but other than that i got pretty lucky. The thing is i wasn't suppose to get pretty lucky at all. I was suppose to go to my father, to Thomas. To Tara. The boys would stay with Wendy. She would look after them for me. She promised me she would always protect them and tell them how much i loved them, as well as Tara too. Nero will be a good father for them. A father that will be able to protect them away from the club. That's all i've ever wanted. My boys to live a normal life away from the club. Just like JT must have for me and Thomas too.

I don't know. That was my reasoning until someone had the brilliant idea of being there at the scene and saving my life. The doctors and nurse said her name is Hana. That she's new to Charming. That explains a lot. Most would have watched me die. many would have celebrated. Some are still celebrating because they know i was in an accident.

The club has gone and that's good. They have tried to ask me where they went but the whole point of it was for me to not know. So i don't know where they went. So they keep asking and i keep telling. Tommorrow i can leave. I will need a place to stay. Since i sold the house.

Hana

Charming is quite a beautiful place besides the never ending battle of who did what and who killed who. So many "accidents" happen here that the property manager failed to inform me of. Yet i still do not regret my descision in moving away from it all. I did need a new start, a new life. I never felt however that it would feel this ggod to be free.

"Hana!"

I turned around and saw Lyla running madly in my direction in short shorts and a tank top. It wasn't pretty. I grimaced and continued to walk in the direction i wa going in and hoped she got the hint. She did not. She ran faster and caught up to me, breathing heavily. She grabbed my arm and pulled me aside so i stopped so she could breathe properly again.

"Hi, sorry. I'm on my way to a possible job. So... Um, i have to go." I shrugged off her arm and continued walking towards the music store.

"Wait. I. _pant pant_. Have to. _pant pant._ Tell you something." She walked quickly to be in front of me and would not budge. She took a few breaths.

"Jax wants to meet you officially, it's been a few days. He just wanted you to settle in fully and he wants to thank you for saving his life."

"Oh, tell him... Tell him it's fine," I walked past Lyla and was nearly to the front of the shop door when Lyla spoke again.

"He wants to take you out to dinner, tonight. I know where you live, be ready at 7" Lyla looked at me, nodded to herself and turned around and slowly walked back to where she came from.

Great i thought. It sounds like apple lady is trying to get me hooked up... I walked in the store hoping the thing on my face was a smile.

 ***We finally now get to the intresting bits am i right? Sorry, but apple lady for Lyla kind of stuck. Well, i'm not even sorry. Please keep reviewing it means the world to me :) Thanks goes to all***


	5. Chapter 5

***Wow. The response to this has been amazing guys. Thanks so much for the followers and the favourites/views and reviews. It's amazing. Please review what you think of this chapter and about the ones to come. I am trying to make the chapters longer, trying. Just for you guys. Thanks again, -Nymeria-**

 **Chapter 5**

Hana

I didn't get the job. That much was obvious. I musn't have been wearing a short enough skirt, the creep. I looked at my clock on the wall and sighed. To be honest with myself i could go to be quite happily and sleep. That was not meant to be. The clock had just struck 7pm. There was a knock on the door a short while afterwards which i answered after getting my bag. To my suprise, it was not Lyla i found at my doorstep. Instead it was Jax himself. Leather jacket, long blue jeans and all.

"Hey."

"Hi." I looked at my driveway and saw a car and i thought to myself at least he thought of that at least and not made me ride a bike. I couldn't do that.

"So, you ready?" asked Jax, obviously just as eager to get this night over and done with.

"Just let me lock the door, then yeah." I faced my back to him and quickly locked the door and headed to the car where he was already waiting, passenger door open. I sunk down in the seat. Seatbelt on. He closed the door with a slam. He then quickly got into the car and pulled out of my driveway and onto the road.

"So, this is to say thanks, for, you know. Saving my life. I know this place that does a good burger and other foods too. I thought you might want to go there. I know it's not some fancy resturant that you might be use to, but the food is good."

I looked at him with a hint of disappointment at judging me so quickly.

"Some fancy resturant that i'm USE to?"I demanded. "What exactly does that mean, huh? That i'm rich and have loads of money. Which is funny because i don't have a job and you saw my house. It's great isn't it, my house. My clothes might be alright for "rich" clothes but don't ever assume that i'm rich Jax. Because i'm not. I've never been and probably never will be."

He looked at me and frowned slightly and ran his hand through his hair. He looked out the window and continued to look straight ahead at the traffic.

"Look, i'm sorry. It's just how you present yourself... I've known girls like you before, even if your not rich you act like one of those girls that are so sure of them selves, that NOTHING can stand in their way. Let me tell you a secrete for free though... Everything stands in your way, trust me."

I shook my head and began to laugh sarcaastically at his response. I turned towards him and said,

"That's just. Wow. You sure know how to make a girl feel special Jax." I turned my head away and looked out my window.

That's when i heard hime softly mumble,

"Try telling that to Tara."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jax

She can be quite annoying i have found. Expecially when i call her rich. It's obvious she's at least has see large amounts of money before. Even i know designer clothes when i see them. Tara could never afford that sort of thing, she never really minded either. Hana, hwever, seems to be one of those girls that MUST have the latest designer shirt or whatever. Jesus Christ, i wish i had that kind of money.

"We're here." i stopped the car and put it into park. I sat for a bit and we didn't move for a bit.

"Do you really want to do this?" Hana asked. "I appreaciate it, but really, you don't need to Jax. I mean that."

I turned my face to look at her. For a twenty year old she looked wise for her years. Long, black hair that fell straight down to her back and mesmerising green eyes did not help me to answer Hana. I knew true beauty when i saw it.

"I want to , it's the least i can do."

I actually enjoyed it. It made me stop thinking about how i can't find Nero and Wndy and my sons. She is actually an incredible person. That just so happenes to know First Aid that saved my life. Now, i don't even mind. The police still watch my every move. That much is obvious. I can't do anything about that. I can't even do anything wrong. I have no club now, they think i'm dead. Deep down, i know it's better that way. I would only make it that much more worse. The Club life is the only life i know.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hana

When i was little the first memory i had is of my dad. We where just in the backyard and Uncle Sam and Aunty Greta and Uncle Dave and Uncle Mark was there too. I remember it was a beautifully sunny day, though not too hot. Mum was out "working" again so Dad decided to have a get together without her. With her, it always ended up as a fighting battle vs rational (Dad) and irrational ( Mum) thought. That was when things were simplier and when i didn't have to travel from place to place. To hide from any enimies of my father. It always sucked how he use to tell me that if anything happened that he would come and save me. How can he? He's dead and will not wake up from his never ending sleep.

I don't know why i thought of that memory on the way home with Jax. It had been a pleasent evening, but now it had grown slightly akward. But that was ok with me. I was use to the silence, it comferted me to be honest. He did not seem to mind the silence either. Something we seemed to have in common.

"Here we are Hana, home sweet home."


	8. Chapter 8

***Sorry for not posting more chapters. I have been quite tired lately. I apoligise. Enjoy (Don'tforgettoreview)***

 **Chapter 8**

Jax

She is young. I know that just by hearing her voice. But for her age, she is very mature. She doesn't talk much about her family. A bit of a taboo subject to be honest. Does she think i can't handle it? Because she hadn't met my family. She never will. Not all of them.

We arrived at the place i now call home and i stopped the car. I unlocked the door and flicked on the lights so that she could see the mess better. Really i should have cleaned up a bit but i had just gotten of the phone to Tiggy and i was distracted to say the least.

"Wow. You shouldn't have cleaned up, for me. I feel honoured" Hana joked once she saw the mess in the kitchen. I glanced at the full sink and the over-filled bin and pushed back my hair.

"Sorry. It's been a crazy day today" I told her clearing the seat for her to sit at the counter. I got two glasses and asked if she would like a drink.

"Just a small one" she replied. I got the glass and poured the liquid into the two glasses. In the glasses i place ice cubes in before serving them up.

"Thanks" Hana said, taking a sip. She looked around and i took a seat across from her.

"So..." I said.

"So..." she copied with a small smile.

"Jesus Christ" I placed the glass on the counter and looked at her.

"What? Why are you giving me that look?" she asked. I leant over and stroked her face and moved a strand of hair out of her eyes. She looked embarrassed at that. Mustn't have attention from guys very often. Don't know why though I thought to myself. She is a beautiful girl.

I hoy up and walked over to her and took her hand and headed to the room. When she pulled her hand away. I looked back at her, frowning slightly.

"No Jax" she said firmly, putting her hand by her side. I went to reach for it again, but she took a few steps back.

"No. Tonight was lovely, don't get me wrong. Your a nice guy... It's just... Well, i'm 20 years old and your what..? 30, 35 years old?"

"34."

She nodded like she knew the answer already. She probably did. People like to talk. Expecially about me. She took a few more steps back.

"I think it's best i go home. I'll call a cab, and... Well... Thank you. Very much, for a... For a lovely evening Jax.." She started to turn around and walk out the door.

"Wait, let me get you some money tp pay for a cab."

"No. it's ok. I've..."

"Stay here for a sec" I told her leaving the room. I walked to the bedroom and found my emergency money and got a 50 out. More than enough. I walked back out and thank god she was still there waiting patiently for me. On edge waiting to leave, but still there.

"Here. Take this to pay for the cab" I told her placing the money in her hand.

"It's ok... That is too much, here have it back. I don't need it, honestly. Take it back..." she replied, trying to force it back into my hands.

"Don't, take it. Money is tight for all of us so let me help you get home in that way at least. Go and give the cab service a call so you van get home bfore it is too, too late."

She placed the money in her pocket and nodded and thanked me quietly. She walked to the door and before she walked out the door she turned to me and asked,

"Jax...?"

"Yes Hana?"

"You should stay away from me. I... got out. But they could be following me. I don't want you to get hurt. Expecially when you said your trying to find your boys again..."

With that said and not waiting for my reply, though words have failed me entirely, she left without another word.


	9. Chapter 9

***Thank you everyone for the love for this. I know I am quite annoying when it comes to short chapters, sorry about that. Hopefully this one will make it up for it. Enjoy***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 9**

Hana

In Charming there is an obvious battle between the clubs and the police. Even a blind man could see it. In other parts of the place, in other parts of the world, that obvious sign isn't always there. It only shows by a small slither of a strand. Back home, that was the case. Originally, i'm from Australia and the coast. But we moved a lot because of the "family buisness." That was my whole childhood with two older brothers, it was a handful most of the time.

I moved out when i was only 14 from home because i couldn't stand being around them anymore. A friend of mine took me in for awhile with her family but i grew restless and when i was only 15 years old i made the risky journey to America. I have been here ever since. The government now knows i'm here so i don't look over my shoulder all the time, not for them anyway... I do it for my family. An unspoken rule that was basically the family motto was to never betray your family. They saw my leaving as a betrayal. I know they did. That's why i warned Jax to stay away from me. I didn't want to be sucked into that kind of life ever again, no matter how he makes me feel on the inside. On the outside i won't let him see how he gets to me all the time. I have only known him for a week since saving his life, and already since they know he's alive the bikes keep driving by at night. Patrolling the streets. Probably to let the rivarilry clubs know that Sam Crow is still here in Charming.

Jax

"Jax" Tiggy yelled, walking over to give me a firm, tight hug. He moved aside so that Chibs could give me a hug. He looked me over for a second longer, motioning to talk alone.

"Jax, Chibs. Don't you think club buisness can wait?" asked Nero, who was trying to hold back an excited Abel. I looked over at Abel and saw Wendy behind Nero with Thomas. She smiled at me quite shyly and walked over slowlg. Leaving Abel plenty of time to yank his hand out from Nero's and fling himself into a hug at me. I picked him up and spun him around a couple of times.

"Your taller Abel" I told him, placing him on the ground. He nodded and didn't let go of my hand.

"I know. Zero and Wendy said i'm going to keep growing if i eat all my green vegetables daddy" Abel replied back. I walked and meet Wendy halfway with Thomas, Abel still clinging to my side.

"Here, here" she said, releasing Thomas to me. Abel let go of my hand so that i could hold his half-brother but never left my sight.

"Why don't we all go inside now, we can talk in there alright" I told everyone. They all muttered their agreement and went inside until only Chibs was left. He looked over at me and smiled sadly.

"You know... I always wondered how in the role of president you could go from one extreme to the next. Now i know. It's part of you, Jax. The crazy, the serious. The President and the father. It's all in you and you can't let either go. Not even God or whoever, whatever you believe will let you let it go. I believe i have something of yours." He walked over and handed my a small square of fabric and placed it in my vest pocket.

"Chibs is that..."I started to stay, but he interupted me with a look.

"Laddy, it was never mine to begin with." With that he turned away from Thomas, Able and myself and walked inside without another word.

Hana

I was at home folding my clothes now that i have finally got a job and was able to get new clothes to fold and noticed my phone had been buzzing. I saw three missed phone calls and four texts. All from Jax in a the time frame of only an hour. What on earth could he want. We haven't talked since i ran out on him that night we had that "big" date. What does he want i wondered reading the texts.

9:07

Luce, Are you busy today at all? I want to show you two amazing people. I will drop by your house later ok? Text me back if that's all ok.

9:28

Lucy...? You there? Just wondering if i can come over a bit later to pick you up and do something if your not busy or anything?

9:36

Luce? Are you ignoring me? I'm sorry if I did something or anything. I really want to show you the two most important people in my life. So please text me back when you get these texts, ok?

9:56

Bugger you Luce. I'm showing up in 20. Get dressed or whatever. See you then.

I looked at the time now and noticed it was 10:15 am. Not long til he got here and i was still in my p.j's. Great. I quickly dashed up stairs and threw on some shorts and a nice top and brushed my teeth and did a two second job of brushing my hair. Once done the doorbell rang so i ran down the stairs and opened the door to find Jax and two little people with him. One was in his arms and one was holding his hand.

"Luce. Wow. You dressed up. For me? You shouldn't have" he laughed winking at my shirt. I looked down and in my haste i had put it on inside out. God i'm a charmer. Embarressed i told them to come on in.

"Just wait here" I motioned in the lounge room. Jax nodded at me still smiling. I walked up to my room and corrected the shirt. Once done i walked downstairs and went into the lounge room where the three of them where waiting.

" Luce. meet my sons. Thomas, the baby and Abel the man."

"Hello Lucy" said Abel, putting a hand out to shake my hand. I looked at Jax shyly and he motioned with his head to take it. I did.

"You have a firm handshake" I told Abel once he let go.

"That's because i'm strong, even daddy says so now" Abel informed me after sitting down on the couch. I smiled at him and looked at Jax.

"I wanted you to meet them" he told me, also sitting on the couch beside Abel. I sat on the chair in front of them and nodded.

"Right. So, cool...?"

"Your nervous" observed Jax.

"Me nervous? Never." I retorted back.

He smiled at me widely showing teeth and asked if i wanted to hold Thomas.

"No thank you. What is it you really want from me Jax. I told you to stay away from me. It's dangerous."

"For me, or for you" Jax asked me bluntly looking down and shifting Thomas in his arms slightly.

"I would be lying if i didn't say both."

"At least your honest. Lucinda... I know who you are, who your family is. Lucinda Night, from the Night Club gang. Their daughter ran away, what, six years ago? Your twenty, so yeah. Six years ago. Jesus Christ, my mum sent your mum her condolences when you left. She was heart broken."

"You don't know the half of it Jax. You only know what they want to share, all the good stuff about them, how i am an ungrateful little girl that didn't like to do what she was told. Well, they are right. I didn't want to be like them, i didn't want to be..." I started to say and looked at Abel listening in innoncently. I shook my head, long black strands getting out of my face.

"Just, never mind. You wouldn't understand."

He looked at me and i looked at him for awhile after that. It was ages and for a bit there i thought he wouldn't say anything at all until he said,

"Try me."


	10. Chapter 10

***Here is another , fingers crossed, lengthy chapter for you all my minions. Can i call you that? I've always wanted minions... Anyways... Enjoy!***

 **Chapter 10**

Jax

I placed Thomas in the stroller and put the packed bag of food in the basket underneath the stroller. Once done, i walked ahead of Abel and Luce listening in to their conversations.

"I love green. It's my favourite colour" said Able when asked. He pointed to a bush with small, purple flowers and ran to it and picked a flower and gave it to Luce.

"Why, thank you Abel" I heard her say to him, admiring the little flower. Beaming, Abel ran to my side and slowed to a walk so that he walked beside the stroller. Thomas was already asleep. We got to a place in the park where there was no people and Luce and I started to unpack the food i brought. I even remebered the picnic blanket Tara bought for these sorts of occasions...

"Jax...? Did you hear what i said?" asked Luce. I blinked a few times and ran a hand through my hair. I looked at Luce and she was holding an empty cup and the lemonade bottle.

"Oh, um. Yes please, sorry I was just remebering, um i was..." I looked at Abel who was eating his sandwhich that Luce had made him and smiled sadly.

"Bever mind. It doesn't matter" I finished. She frowned but didn't say anything. She poured the lemonade into my cup and passed it to me then poured herself one as well as Abel one. I had given Thomas his bottle. Since of course now he decided to wake up.

It was quite a beautiful day. The sunshine was lovely and soon after he had finished eating, Abel was begging to go and play on the playground with the other children.

"Make sure you are in our site" warned Luce to Abel.

"Yes Lucy!" He yelled, running to play. I started to pack the things away and Luce helped the process. After we sat for awhile enjoying the sunshine, not needing to even say a word. Luce broke the silence first.

"Thanks for a lovely day Jax. Your boys, they are beautiful children."

I looked at Thomas playing with his tiny bear and smiled. I looked at Luce and said,

"Thanks for coming. I think the boys needed you here today. Expecially Abel. You have got him wrapped around your little finger, you know? Not sure if that's a good thing or not" I joked. She hit me lightly, laughing.

"Kids love me, what can i say" she replied moving closer to me on the blanket. On this blanket, we must have both looked like little school children, crossed legged and all. i didn't even cared who saw to be honest. Nothing or no body could destroy this perfect day was what I thought to myself. Suddenly, there were four shots and i heard a yelp and gasps of air and i pulled out my gun and tried to aim at the tires of the car but only got the boot of the car. I walked back quickly and saw that Thomas was with a woman from the park and someone had Abel too. They looked at me funny. That's when i saw her. In my haste to get the car back with shots, i didn't see the damage already done. Two shots hit. One in the shoulder and ne in the leg. Soon the ambulance came and took her away and Chibs and the guys showed up.

"What's the plan, brother?" asked Chibs. I looked down at my shirt and looked around to see the cops coming towards our group. I shook my head and blinked slowly, trying to think.

"Club meeting in an hour's time at the new clubhouse, til then.. Make inqueries. Figure who did this. I don't care how. They could have hurt my sons... Luce..."

"She's tough" said Tiggy, patting my shoulder. i hope so, I thought. I hope she is so strong. Because i need her. I can't lose her too.


	11. Chapter 11

***Yep. Whodunnit is the ultimate question, Is Luce ok, will she make it? Of course she will... There wouldn't be much of a story otherwise would there? Enjoy peeps.***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 11**

Hana

Everytime i move my shoulder, pain shoots through the whole of my upper body and goes down my spine. It hurts. It really, really hurts. The doctor said i will always have nerve damage in my shoulder and that i am lucky the bullet only grazed my leg and didn't "damage" anything. I'd like him to go through the pain and see how "easy" it is for me. I am not a very strong person when it comes to physical violence. I have always considered myself a mouse of a person with little strength but to only, barely attempt to save herself from her cult family. For that is what they are. I have no doubt they were the ones that did this. That my brothers have found me yet again, and trying to get me home one way or another. Being in a box is just an added bonus for them. Daniel and Demetri have always never cared about me, only gaining more power for themselves. So here i sit in the hospital waiting for them to try and come claim me. Instead it is Jax and Abel that comes to my hospital room. I wish he hadn't brought Abel. I don't want anyone to see me like this, let alone Abel. I strongly believe Jax relised once he saw me. I admit, today i am not in a very good mood at all.

"Hi Luce. How are you feeling. .Hey, we got you some flowers. Abel picked them out for you" Jax said staring intently at all of my bandages because of course i wore a tank top and shorts today.

"There purple Lucy, like your favourite colour" Able showed me as a burst of pain seized my leg.

"That's great, you should go downstairs so that my doctor can give me my medcine, ok? It's a bit yucky" I told him, hinting to Jax to leave me alone. He got the hint fast enough.

"Good idea, we should come back another day when Lucy is a bit better. Hey Abel?" Jax asked his son. Abel had moved to the bed and decided that he did not want to leave the room just yet. So in this, he jumped on the bed and spasms of massive pain shot up my leg and i couldn't keep the moan of pain in any longer.

"Abel!"yelled Jax, concern flicking in his eyes as he pushed the button for my doctor to come and assist. "You hurther, look. Get off that bed now!"

Abel quickly moved off the bed and started to cry. I tried to hold his hand to comfort him but it shot another streak of pain, but to my shoulder this time. Leaving me breathless and not much help to anyone let alone myself. The doctor quickly rushed into the room with two of the female nurses and told Jax he must leave the room, quickly. Jax did that thing he did with his hair i saw and with one last worried look he grabbed Abel's hand and left the room. The flowers fallen to the ground, forgotten.


	12. Chapter 12

***I love getting reviews saying that you like being called a minion. It just made my day :3 So, last chapter i left of with a very painful experience for Hana, Jax and Abel too. Sadly for them, they don't even know it's just the beginning. A "new" club has moved to Charming, and they don't plan to leave any time soon... Please review and keep reading. You guys are all amazing minions. Enjoy another long one ;) ***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 12**

Jax

"They are staying. A contact i know say they are directly trying to piss of Sam Crow for "personal reasons" stated an annoyed Happy. He sat back in his chair and didn't say anything else so i looked over to Tigs to see if he had anything to add. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I get the same man, they are pissing on the club and i have no idea why. It's weird. Usually when a club wants t get back at Sam Crow, it's for obvious reasons. Like we took something valuable or killed a guy. This time? This time is different. They don't even say what they want, they just bash our people left right and centre. Only last week we lost a potential newbie due to those asswholes." The guys all nodded at what he said. I looked at them all individualy and sat in silence for a few minutes to go over what they had said and to think for myself. Then i realised just who they might be.

"I think i know who the new club is. It's not going to be pretty..."

Hana

I was finally at home again to peace and quite with a whole lot of drugs. The best kind of drugs too, the ones they give you if your in so much pain. Because i am. The shoulder still hurts badly and the leg has started to ease up a bit but i still walk with a slight limp to it. I walked into the kitchen to grab a cold drink of water, since being shot, i have been so thirsty all the time. _**Knock Knock Knock.**_ I put the glass down on the bench and slowly made my way to the door. It's probably Jax come to apoligise for Abel the other day at the hospital was my thinking but when i opened the door my worst nightmare stood before me. He even gave me the decency to show up himself. And not send the other two that he usually did for his dirty work. He smiled at me sadly and shook his head.

"It's been a long time Hana. You going to let an old man inside or are you going to be so rude and close the door in my face" he asked with all seriousness. it had crossed my mind to do just that. But thinking better of it i opened the door wider and let my father come in my home for the first time.

I closed the door behind him and showed him into the lounge room and he noted the bare walls and the clean feel of the place. Inside i knew he was judging just how cold the house felt, which was funny because he would know so well about being cold.

He sat down on the chair and i sat on the couch and he continued to study the whole room. Once finished he sighed and looked me up and down.

"You are skin and bones." He commented to me.

"If your worried about me eating, don't be. I love food. i just like to be healthy is all. Are we really going to do small talk Greg or are we going to talk about why you are really here, because that's why you wanted to talk to me. Stop pretending. You don't have to for me. I know what you are like" I asked him looking at him head on. i fiddled with the bottom of my shorts and smoothed them over. He shook his head and began to chuckle.

"Why are you laughing?!" I demanded.

"It's been what, six years?! And you think you KNOW me? Hana, you don't know what i have done to get you to come back to your family. Your mother has been worried sick all this time. You could have at least contacted her to say that you were alright. But no. Hana is too selfish to worry about anyone besides herself let alone her poor mother who has a broken heart for the past SIX YEARS!" Greg yelled angrily. He shot up and walked angrily over to the table and slamed his fist down.

"How could you do that Hana. How could you betray your family. We never did anything to hurt you, never. If you were in trouble, you should have said something. Your family would have protected you" Greg said, turning to face me.

"That's funny," I laughed. "Could you have protected from our own family?"

"What do you mean?" he asked me confused.

"Why on earth do you think What because i was only a little girl and wanted attention? No! I ran away from the club, because of our GLORIOUS family. You can thank your two sons Greg for that. You ask them why. Why i might run away from them. After all, I'm a liar to so no matter what i say isn't the truth. hey, Dad" I said sarcastically. His face filled with anger. He walked angrily to the door and slamed it open and without another word he had gone. i went to the front door and closed it quietly.


	13. Chapter 13

***Thanks for sticking around and reading them. Its amazing, 24 followers, 14 favourites and good reviews :) Enjoy another chapter today/tonight. You deserve it my minions...!***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 13**

Hana

 _Six years ago..._

 _I remember always being watched by my older brother's, expecially by the eldest one, Daniel. His eyes use to follow my every move and i only seemed to notice it, except for Demetri. As a kid i did not really concern myself over it. He was my big brother, he was only looking out for me. As i got older and grew into my body, it began apparent that "looking out for me" was not what he really had in mind. It had been an extremely hot day in Australia that particular day so i was wearing short shorts and a tank top singlet to be a tad cooler. Mother had gone to do her usual shopping on a Thursday night and Dad had needed to leave suddenly and take Uncle Steve with him. Demetri was at a friend's place so it was just Daniel and i alone._

 _I put on my stero and was listening to some tunes while laying on my bed when i felt the mattresses move beneath me. I sat up quickly and saw that Daniel had laid downon my bed._

 _"Dany! You scared me!" I said hitting him on the arm._

 _"Sorry Hana bear, I was bored so i came to see what you were up to and you looked oh so comfy on the bed. So i thought i would join you, here lay back down Hana. We cn listen to the music" I remember him saying to him, and like a good sister i did what he asked and after he..._


	14. Chapter 14

***Last chapter was a small snippet of a chapter. Sorry, but it was a flash back... Bring it back to present time and The Midnight Riders Motorcycle Club are still causing havoc in Charming. Since Chapter 12, fast forward a month. Hana has made full recovery on her leg and occasionaly there is pain with her shoulder. Please review, and of course, ebjoy...!***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 14**

Jax

I pulled my gun out and nodded to Tiggy. The guys moved in and i heard a woman scream. I quickly went inside the house and saw a woman with a little kid on her knees. Happy had a gun to her head.

"Jesus Christ! Put that gun away from her and the goddamn kid, will you!" I yelled at him, and wacked him with my free hand. I looked to Chibs and he gave me the all clear. I put my gun away and the others did the same. I knelt down to the woman and she spat at my feet. She had long black hair and green eyes that looked oddly familiar.

"So you must be the FAMOUS Jax Teller" she stated, cllutching at the young boy who wasn't even crying. I stood up and as did she. I was suprised, i didn't think they told the woman anything. We didn't.

"You've heard of me?" I questioned her. She laughed loudly and looked at me as if i was the stupid one.

"Honestly, do you think i DON'T know who you and these thugs are in my home?" She chuckled and clung tighter to the poor child that was only now starting to squirm in her arms.

"You want my husband and my sons dead and you don't care what the consequences are. You want me as a hostage, fine. But you so much as harm a single hair on one of our heads," she motioned to her and the boy,"Your as good as a dead man walking."

Happy walked to her and smacked her across the face. I let him. Already a huge red handprint started to form and only now did the child start to cry. I looked at the child with a closer look and saw something i thought i wouldn't see. The woman saw me looking and smiled widely.

"You can tell her that we are looking after him proper, even if she doesn't want him. I don't even know who the bloody father is but he's one of us. We look after our own. He dotes on his uncles expecially Daniel. Tell her, we talk about her to him. Don't we Teddy boy?"

All the blood drained from my face at what she said. I knew what she was refering to and i couldn't believe it. Why wouldn't she tell me. Jesus Christ, i have two boys of my own. The least she could do was tell me about... But then i thought of something. That's why she always has that sad look on her face when she doesn't think i'm looking when she sees Thomas and Abel. They remind her of him. The boy in front of me, Hana's son. But that would mean...


	15. Chapter 15

***The last chapter you met Lena Night. When you think of Lena don't think of her being another Gemma, sure she can be just as protective and loyal to the club. But unlike Gemma, Lena is a full member of The Midnight Riders Club. Yes, a female, let alone the Club's presidant wife is a full member of the club. Just something for you to ponder over...**

 **Need more reviews to continue, otherwise you will just be sitting there, waiting. (also enjoy too :) )***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 15**

Hana

Most days, Jax asked me to look after the two boys when he was off god knows what for club business. I personally don't want to know what that "business" is. I only have to really worry about Abel in the mornings before school and in the afternoons. Which is ok, because he is a great kid. I find it funny how the other mothers say just how much he was a terror after Tara died. but now... With me looking after him he is doing so much better. It's actually nice to see him smiling and laughing and generally being a very happy kid. He and Thomas both are growing up so, so fast. And i've only known them for a few months now. Already Abel is calling me "Aunty Lucy."

Thomas suprised me out oof the blue and spoke. He called my name. "Luca."

I must have looked like one of those gaping clowns you see at a carnival, because that is what my face felt like... He didn't say dada or muma, he said,"Luca." It made my heart heart for a moment and think of...

As soon as Jax got home (Abel had been picked up from school by myself ages ago) he told Tiggy to take the children somewhere and go. He looked quite angry and it scared me to think of what might have caused his anger. Did my father hurt one of his men, did my brothers?

"Hana..." He sighed, dropping into a seat. I sat beside him and tried to take his hand but he wouldn't take it. I frowned slightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned. His blue eyes found my green ones and his eyes would not let me go. Thankfully, after awhile, he released me from his stare. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair and sighed heavily.

"You know what really kills me about you Hana?" He said matter of factly and in a blunt sort of way. I perked up, suprised.

"What? Huh?"

"Your ability to make me feel speacial and worthless at the exact same time, all rolled into one. It's a talent of yours isn't?" He asked of me. "Not even Tara could make me feel this way" he continued on.

"What are you trying to say, Jax?" I asked shocked.

"What am i trying to... What am i trying to say?" He mimicked angrily, bolting up from the seat and paced angrily around the room.

"Oh, I don't know Hana. How about you not telling me you have a six year old son that doesn't know that you live so close to him and that he has never seen you since the day of his birth, or that you left him to your family, that club. You know the one? The one that bashes up woman and children because they think they can't be touched by nothing... No club, not even the damn cops can stop them! What the hell do you think i have been doing, huh?!"Jax yelled furiously. He walked up to me and got into my face and i started to panic that he might hit me or something so i backed my body up away from his on the seat as much as i could. He looked at me, scared and sighed heavily and backed away and sat furtherest away from me as he could.

"I would never hurt you Hana, never. Did you really think I... I'm just so... Frustrated that you wouldn't tell me is all. Why wouldn't you Hana, will you tell me now. Please... I think you need to tell me honestly now. Who is Teddy's father?" Jax asked. He walked over to me and knelt down on one knee so that we could be at the same eye level. He took my hand and squeezed. I started to sob and he got up and hugged me and I found him sitting on the couch and me in his lap, just hugging. I was clinging to him like he was my oxygen that i needed to live.

"I... Can't... It...Just hurts...Thinking... You know..."I hiccuped. He held me tighter and kissed my forehead. He mumbled something under his breathe that i did not quite catch and i started to ask him what he said but he cut me off. He nuzzled my neck and said,

"It's ok hunny, it's ok. You will never have to be scared about anybody ever again. No more running or hiding. I will stop this. I will make this stop, ok. Trust me. It's going to be ok. I will protect you always. I love you."

Jax

I woke up to an amazing woman lying next to me. Her long black hair falling across her face and seeping through it her peaceful face shone through. Last night the boys stayed at Tiggy's place so that Hana and I could talk. Among other things, but mostly we talked. Even for a guy to have that kind of relationship, it's a hell of a feeling. I have not ever felt this way before, not about Wendy, not even Tara. Hana is a whole new experience of love. Maybe because she has just as messed up family as i do. We bonded a bit over that last night too.

I got out of bed quietly and gently kissed her on the cheek, thankfully she didn't stir. I put on my pants and went to the kitchen to think about making a coffee. It was a good thing I bought a place with three rooms, in my price range after being hit by that truck. Back then feels like years away. I felt so ready to just die that nothing else particularly mattered. I can even say know that not even my boys mattered. I deserve a father of the year award for that, I think not. Now i would hate to die, i don't want to die. Everything seems to finally being good in life. The club is getting cleaner, the police are too busy fighting The Midnight Riders, heck, they are even welcoming our help to get rid of them. If only it was that simple. First to though. Teddy needs to see his mother. And that is what i am going to do. I am going to help Hana gain custody of Teddy.


	16. Chapter 16

***Sorry about not updating lately, I have actually been trying to find a job and have been really tired lately, so I am sorry.**

 **Remeber back to Chapter 2 that creepy Police official guy that keep saying he was going to watch Hana, he wasn't kidding guys. Have a read below and don't forget to review, and also enjoy. Of course.***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 16**

Demetri

My own little sister didn't recongise me. But I recongised her, how could I not. All my life I have wanted to do good and help people, the only thing holding me back is the club. I am not like Daniel like our father is pushing me to be like. For god's sake, i work in the law enforcement where as Dan only does club buisness. I don't know how he can live with himself after all we have done. Sometimes i can't believe what i have done and thought to myself, this is just one truly horrible nightmare. So if i open my eyes now reality will kick in and I wouldn't have done all that and we would all be a true, proper family like it should have been without the club. Unlike Hana, the ckub will never be tat easy to run away from. Ever.

I couldn't believe they found her after all this time, if she hadn't saved that Teller guy, she wouldn't have been found. So thanks to him, they are now going to harrass her. When I was little, I always knew my family was not like other families. More messed up is an understatement to say the least, expecially how Mum and Dad treated us kids and to this day still treat us. It isn't good, but no one can do anything about it. You either have to embrace it, or hate every moment of it under your breath hoping no one hears. I hated expecially the way they treated Hana like she was something she can be shipped off by one man to the next to "further the club." I've heard that in poorer countries, but here? In America, not ever. Yet that is what they would have done if not for Daniel and is his disgusting choice. He out of the three of us is what Mum and Dad always wanted from children. Absoulte loyalty to the club and the aability to not have a shred of morailty and ethics in his bones.

That is what i thought as I told Hana that I would be in touch. I wanted to help her out as much as I could, after all, she is still my sister.

Jax

The club has grown restless trying to find where Greg and his cronies are. We have found the house his wife and grandson lives in, but they must have another hide out away from the family. I think that is bloody retarded, our club house is near enough to our families so we can head home straight away if something ever where to happen. Otherwise it might be too late. Does Greg not even care?

"Jax?"

Hana's voice brought me back to reality and the lounge room. Our lounge room. Last week she made the choice to move in with me and the boys and sold her house. Her reasoning was that, "I'm always here anyway."

"Sorry hun, did you say something...? My mind was miles away." I bent over and squeezed her hand. She smiled at me widely and gave Thomas smile as well when he said, "Luca." I noticed she looked down at him and her smile lit up her face. She kept smiling lately. It was a great feeling knowing that my boys and I were the cause of her happiness.

"I noticed Jax, is something the matter with the club? Is it my father? He said he would stop now, that he would leave." She looked up, with a slightly worried expression. I kissed her worried head and shrugged.

"No, it's not Greg Luce. Well, we saw him leave and his guys. But the thing is, your mum didn't And your son... He's still here too." I paced around the room trying to make sense of it all, but could find nothing.

"Did you make sure that Daniel and Demetri left Jax?" piped up Luce, now holding Thomas little fingers on the couch.

"Well he said all of his guys would leave, I haven't actually met your brothers before Luce. So maybe your on to something." I stopped pacing and looked at Luce in the eye. I was at the front door when she quicly stopped me,

"Wait!" She put Thomas on the seat and ruushed over to stand beside me. When she got to my side I saw tears falling down her face.

"Jax. That isn't true... Don't you see? Demtri has been here the whole time! He was the officer that spoke to me after I saved you that day. I didn't recongise him then, but now? I know it was him. And he warned me, that he would be meeting me again. Which can only mean one thing... Daniel is still here, and he needs to be stopped before he hurts someone else, just like he hurt me Jax. Don't you see?" She cried. I held her into my arms, trying to stop the sobs escaping from inside her. She wriggled out from my embrace and looked me dead in the eye.

"I never told you the father of Tedyy. Jax, Daniel. Daniel is Teddy's father. He raped me countless times as a little girl, and Demetri caught him once. He helped me run away. He's trying to help us now, I just know it. Please, be careful Jax. Daniel, he is a monster." And with that Luce walked over to Thomas waiting patiently, picked him up and walked into the kitchen. I stood at the door for a few moments and tried to control my anger. I opened the door and started to dial.

"Yes laddy?"

"Chibs, go to the club house and get the guys all there. Club meeting. We are at war with The Midnight Riders." I told my second in command, closing the door.


	17. Chapter 17

***Last Chapter was basically what you aready know, yes? But it just had to be played out. But with this chapter you might find out something new that will either have you loving or have you hating The Midnight Riders. Ok, So far you have read into Hana's, Jax's and Demetri's head, but what about Lena's? Well, here, Enjoy! Please review for more soon and tell me whether or not you like where the story is heading. I have to know so i can see whether you guys like it or not :) ***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 17**

Lena

I hated being wrong. I hated being not told the details too. Put it together and you get me right now. I hate that i hate that. It's so fricken hateful. I try and be the strong second in command but sometimes it's too much and all i want to do is get a good long sleep and wake up either in the clouds or down in a permant sauna. I don't even care which, anything would be better than where i am right now. That dumb ass jerk Jax Teller had the hide to knock down my door, and threaten my person, my grandson and my club. Greg's up and left to go to one of his mistresses, as if i don't bloody know. He has several of them and also has the hide to think I'M the stuoid one, haha.

I looked down to Teddy and saw so much of his mother's personailty in him. And frowned slightly. I lied to Jax about not knowing his father. It's bloody fricken obvious, he has his curls, his face. But not his eyes, his are blue. No, he has his mother's eyes, a beautiful green. I don't know why he doesn't just let everyone know now, the club doesn't really care about that sort of thing. Heck, many of the guys think that makes the club purer if that is even possible. Stupid shits.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Hana

I was working and had only fifteen minuted to go when an oddly famiiar voice was heard in the store.

"Teddy... Don't you think you have enough toy cars sweets? Put it back for Grandma, that's a good boy!" I froze where I stood. It couldn't be... I know if Greg was near by so would she, but him? I didn't know if I could... I needed to get out of there fast before she walked to where I stood.

"Hana? Hana! Is that you?!" My mother looked tired, older than she had before. It was obvious she took less pride in her apperance than before. The leather jeans however remained. She took one look at me and let go of his hand and rushed to me and gave me a tight hug and I couldn't breathe. He peered at me and I looked at him too. Lena let go and stood aside so that he could get a whole look at me.

"Hana, meet your son, Teddy. Teddy this is your mummy. See? I always told you that you had her eyes, do you see that they look the same buddy?" Lena asked him and he nodded excitedly. He jumped up and down on the spt and yelled out,

"Mummy! I have wanted to see you!" He raced over and hugged me but only came up to just past my butt. After all, I was quite tall. I smiled arkwardly, not really sure what to do or say. I looked at my watch and he stopped hugging me but kept a hold of my right hand. My fifteen minutes was up. The store door opened and in walked all three Tellers. All three, Thomas could walk now. My afternoon was just getting better and better. It took all of five minutes to sense the tension and notice who else was in the store, and he knew who they were as if they had seen each other before. He began to walk over but Lena pecked me on the kiss and tugged on his free arm, causing him to release my arm.

"Come Teddy, don't worry... We will see your mummy soon, hey Hana. Teddy would be extremely upset otherwise" she asked me, eyebrows raised. I shrugged my shoulders and looked to Jax. Once he got to where I was standing, both she and Teddy where out the door already.

"You ok, sweetheart?" Jax asked me, carassing my face. I nodded into hs touch and took Abel's outstretched hand. We all began walking to the counter so I could sign off. Once done we left the store to head home.

I walked to the bedroom wrapped in a towel to find Jax on the bed with is eyes closed. I closed the door as quietly as I could and was just about to go to the cuboard when he spoke. I looked over to him and his eyes were wide open and he was leaning lazily against his pilliows.

"Hana?"

I moved a wet strand of hair behind my ear and walked over to where he was on the bed. He gave me his hand to hold and sort of forced me to lay on the bed. He pulled on my arm gently so that i lay on his chest. Wet hair, naked body and towel and all. When comfterble, I stroked his bare chest and asked him what he wanted. For awhile, we just lay there and i was contempt enough to do so when Jax began to talk.

"Hana. I am so sorry. I don't know how I can say this... Lightly."

I rolled over and sat up on the bed and looked into his eyes, my face demanding to know what has happened. He sighed sadly and thenn he too sat up.

He looked straight in my eyes and said, quite plainely, "Hana. There's been an accident. Hana?" He looked at me concerned to say anything else. I nodded for him to continue.

"Hana, Demetri's dead. He has been for six years. Who ever you think you talked to... I don't think it was Demetri. Hana honey, it was Daniel you spoke to. Daniel. I promise you, he will never touch you again. I swear it." I thought to myself, how? How could that be?

 ***Did you all enjoy that chapter?**

 **Ok, ok... I KNOW I said in previous comments that you got in Demetri's head and you will get new stuff. So you got new stuff and somewhat of a sort of idea, possibly, of something, or someone. The way I'm going with this is quite simple, can you guess wgat it is? Leave your thoughts in a review. Honestly review, they make my day :)***

 **-Nymeria**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Jax

In Charming there are multiple ways of getting yourself hated and killed. One, gettting in a club and turning on your brothers. Two, getting involved with the police in general. Three, being overly rude. The list continues on and on. Following that list, I would be a very hated man is what I thought on a bright Thursday morning. I rolled over and found that the bed was empty of a Hana. Hmmm. That has happened a lot lately, she has not been sleeping well of late. Expecially after I told her about Demetri, and about Daniel still being here, that's the reason wh yshe cannot sleep at night. I wish I could make her not worry. Well I could, and that is what i am trying to do. To get Teddy to legally be able to live with his mother, Hana will need an extremely good lawyer. I;ve found a good lawyer. It's just about saving and having the money to pay for him. He doesn't come cheap, to say the least.

"Hana, where are you babe?" I asked aloud, sitting up in bed. A few moments later, a fully dressed Hana walked into the room. She looked exhausted. I frowned ans she noticed for she quickly plasted a wide smile to hide her pain.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with Lyla today? She has missed talking and hanging out withyou lately. I'm home, so I can look after the boys hun. Go and see Lyla, you deserve a break Sweetheart. I'm worried about you." She sighed and sat on the bed and held my hand and squeezed gently.

"Jax, it's ok. I'm just over reacting, I guess. It's just that if Daniel is out there, looking for me... He won't stop. Ever. And that scares me, because of the way he is. Even as a child he... Wasn't.. Right? I guess you could say." She let go of my hand and looked down at her feet.

"I know how he is Hana. The club has met him. It wasn't pretty, to say the least. Get ready to hang out with Lyla, she's picking you up this morning. Go on, get ready." She stood up and slowly walked to the door way,

"If you have met him, that means he will do something stupid soon, anything and everything. You name it. He could, and would, do it. No matter the cost either to himself or other people."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 ~We all Cry~**

Hana

It was no suprise for my birthday, Lena brought over Teddy. Even after all this time she rememebered the type of cake I loved. dark choclate with hazelnut choclate sauce. Yum! Teddy came into the lounge room, with loud energy and ran to my arms, giving me a small bear hug.

'Happy birthday Mumma! I picked you a present! I even made you a card too! I really hope you like it!" He told my legs. I smiled down at him, just in time for him to look up and smile back at me. He let my legs go and placed the gift on the table with the other ones. While he was doing that Lena came and pecked me lightly on the cheek and she too had a smaller gift and placed it onto the table.

"Right, he was really excited for this sleepover darling. I must truly be going. Things to do and the like, Teddy... Come and give grandma a kiss!" She bent down and recieved a small hug from Teddy, she pecked him lightly on the cheek and walked out to her car alone. No body moved to escort her out. I made my way over to where the drinks are and began to sip at a lemonade.

I looked around and saw Sam Crow everywhere. Even the newbies are here. I guess Jax thought didn't think I had any friends, which isn't true I had Lyla, or Tina to some is what she is called to her film fans. I still can't believe she can do that for living with Opie's children being around. I have no idea how she does it. I barely coping working at a grocery store let alone helping with the boys.

"Hana? What are you thinking?" asked Jax, hugging me from behind. I sighed and replied,

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Oh really..." He said, kissing my neck. He forced me to turn around and face him and I respectively nodded. He laughed at me and kissed my forehead before motioning to Abel and teddy playing, and also Thomas playing around them.

"Our boys" he said happily, though his eyes looked sad. I held his hand and squeezed. He squeezed back, gently.

"Let the birthday girl come forward laddy!" Chibs yelled to the whole room, and cheers of agreement followed suit. Jax looked at me and smiled shyly. I nodded my consent, so he lead me to the front where all the guests where waiting near the presents.

"There you are!" Chibs exclaimed, kissing my cheek once Jax let go of my hand. "We have been meaning to congraula..." Chibs started to say before stopping suddenly.

"Sorry, what?" I asked him, confused.

"Oh nothing missy. I was thinking f someone else. Happy birthday though. My gift to you is keeping him in line, and something amongst the pile there too." He smiled slightly before quickly excusing himself by saying he was missing...Something. I watched him leave and Jax nudged me to look at Tigs who coughed uncomefterbly.

"Happy birthday sweetheart from me and all the guys. You have been an amazing friend to both the club and Jax. We will never forget that. If you need anything, anything at all. We're here fr you ok sweetheart?" asked Tigs.

"Righto Tiggy. Thank you, thank you everyone" I turned to address everyone.

"Thank you so much for this all guys, I have never have had this done for me before. It is great to know I have such amazing people in my life. Thank you" As i finished outside a car could be heard. Screeching up the road and finally stopping.

Jax looked panicked for a second. I remember that well. He looked at me and then looked at all the kids, that's when the bullets shot through all of the glass. The last I saw was my son falling to the ground and then. Nothing.

 ***What did you all think of THAT? Tell me in all of your reviews :) ***

 **~Nymeria**


	21. Chapter 21

***Sorry about the lack of new chapters. I have been quite busy with a thing called life. I kow... It's new to me as well... :) I hope you all enjy and pretty please review on this chapter, how else will I know to continue?***

 **-Nymeria**

 **Chapter 21**

 _As a child I remember many things. The beach, the smell of it. The feel of sand beneath your feet. In America they don't have beaches quite like in Australia. It doesn't feel like home. But then you meet the one you love and that's whn nyou call it home. How stupid was I to think fate wouldn't bring us to together. How stupid was I to think I would remain happy. Happiness ends, and what remains is emptiness._

Hana

I woke to the sound of a buzzing noise. I opened and eye and say quite a large fly buzzing above my left eye. I groaned with pain and immedietly someone grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"hana? Hana, can you hear me?" I opened both eyes to see not Jax, but Lyla instead. I squeezed a tiny bit back and she let go of my hand. She sighed with relief.

"I have to go and tell the doctor you are awake. Ok? I will be right back!" She got up and left the room. This gave me time to look around the room to see all the balloons, cards and get well flowers on the bedside table. They shouldn't have waisted their money on me. I don't deserve thanks to what trouble I have caussed. I should have died. I don't know how I lived tbh. I was right in front of the glass windows. As was... Teddy! I haven't seen my son. Where is he.

The door opened and in walked the nurse from before and a male doctor in his late forties. He waled over to the bed and began to look me over, even though I was breathing and fine.

"Doctor, doctor!" He looked me in the eyes and asked me, " Yes?"

"Where is my son. Where is Teddy?" The doctor glanced at the nurse and she stopped what she was doing and shook her head. He sighed sadly and leaned on the very edge of the bed. He made me think of Jax when he ran his hand through his hair and stood up and turned to face me. He looked at me for awhile.

"Where is my son, doctor?"

"I thought someone would have come in and told you by now. I'm... Sorry to bring you the bearer of bad news, this must be hard. I can't imagine how... I'm sorry, but your son. Ted. He... Didn't... Make...It..." A sob escaped my lips as the door opened to a panic faced Jax. When he saw my face he pushed past my docctor and the nurse and held me tight. Telling me everything would be ok. The doctor and nurse left and closed the door behind them and Jazx pulled out from the embrace. He looked into my eyes and told me, "We will fix this. The club and I will make sure you won't ever be hurt again. I'm so sorry sweetheart."

I smiled a sort of hysterical smile.

"You can't hurt an already broken person Jax. My brother, he did this. I know it. My brother needs to die. Jax. You need to kill him before he hurts someone else. Before I find him. I want him. Dead."


	22. Chapter 22

***I am loving the reviews, so thank you! Keep them coming, they make my day! Enjoy minions...***

 **~Nymeria**

 **Chapter 22**

 _In a perfect world, I would have been in a normal family with a normal mum and dad and brothers. But I waasn't. You can't choose who your parents are, some may argue but the DNA speaks for itself. Quite a scary thought to be it isn't a perfect world, far from it in fact. It's an imperfect world with flaws and dangers alike. When I was 5 years old I was told I could never leave my family, ever. That we belonged together. Sure Lena was drunk at the time, but theen, she was always drunk. It didn't matter the occassion. You could always count on my mother to get drunk at anything. Oh how my father despised her. Even 6 year old me could figure that one out. After all, they always had seprate houses, even when they moved on to a new town. This was always what would happen. Daniel didn't seem to mind the uprooting every year or so. Demetri and I... We minded, a lot. Expecially Demetri._

Jax

I walked over angrily to the guy and invaded his ersonal space.

"YOU THINK I CARE THAT YOUR... WHAT?! HURT? WITH A SMALL ITTLE BITTLE SCRATCH! What about my old lady?! What about her?! What about her son! Seven year old and shot dead at his mothers birthday party because of what!" I screamed at him. I puched his face and a suirt of blood flickered onto my face, with my sleeve I wiped it away. Chibs walked towards me and I brushed his hand away. No one could calm me down, not even myself. I haven't been this angry since Tara... No not even then was I THIS angry. I could kill multiple persons and I don't even give a damn about being caught. That's saying something, coming from the leader of a club. In fact, it's dangerous. It means I am stupid. I need to... Think.

"Tiggy, Happy." They stod up and looked at me. I motioned them towards the captive and told them, "Don't let him escape til I get back to sort him out or tell you otherwise."

"Right Jax." Tiggy replied, with Happy nodding suit. I looked at Chibs and the rest of the guys briefly and a beginning of a somewhat calculated plan became to take place. It was risky, but they always were with the club.

"Chibs I need to talk to you, the rest of you..." i looked around at the guys and sighed. They all looked beat. "Get some rest, meeting tommorrow at club house. usual time. Go and get some sleep. You all look tired as I feel." I walked outside and Chibs followed quietly behind. I stopped out of earshoot of the curious leaving club memebers. i turned to face him and said, "There is no one I trust more to do this for me. I can't do it myself. I need you to talk with Daniel. And I need you to bring him. So I can have a little chat with my future brother in law..."


	23. Chapter 23

***A well deserved thank you goes to EJM87 for the paragraph long review! Wow! That was really nice of you :) So thank you. And yu bring up some really good points. To answer one of your questions. In the last chapter the name of the guy held captive did not get a name (as yet) because he was quite useless wasn't he? He was just used to provoke Jax, did that work?**

 **Let me explain. Jax can't find Daniel. No one has found daniel. They have found his club members because they have found out that Greg is not in fact the Presidant of The Midnight Riders. Daniel is and his mother is second in charge (Lena). Why is this? Greg is believed to have grown soft ever since Hana had run away. Which is quite weird because he is now missing... Intresting? Don't you think? As for the guy held captive. His name is Steve. There you go, the biggest secrete of all (not really) the name of the captive. He is just basically the needs to an end. Enjoy this chapter will you, and please don't forget to review everyone, i love it when you do and feel more inclined to update and publish more chapters when you do. :)***

 **~Nymeria**

 **Chapter 23**

Steve

I hated doing look out duty. It was bory and tiring work that got handed down to the lesser members. Like me and Donnie. They killed Donnie. Those Sons jerks. We were just doing what we were told. It's not lie we did anything to hurt them personally, maybe the club as a whole, but not us. We were just the little worker ants. Daniel our "king" ant. Funny I think of that sort of shit when blood falls down my face and my it's hard to see through the pain. That Jax sure knows how to give a hard punch. I don't even blame him. Dnnie and I only found out what happened yesterday. Only Sam Cro was suppose to get hurt. Not anyone else, expecially Hana and Teds. Daniel's gonna be pissed. Hopefully I'm dead before than. Because he's raged before. But this. This will make him see red. i feel it in my gut. He may be a murderous, sadistic sort of guy, but he's always said no one is to hurt his sister and her son otherwise they face a certain undesirable death. I feel sorry for the poor guy who shot him multiple times I've heard too. That's what I think when the one they called Tigs kicks me in the shins.

"Where is that son of a *****? Where is he?!" He kicked me again and this time it hurt, really hurt. I could feel the bruise already froming and the blood falling down my leg.

"Leave him alone, the idiot means nothing. jax was just pulling at straws with this one. Soon, soon he will be dead."

That's when I knew they were getting closer to Daniel. Daniel didn't get found. He only did when he was ready for it. I hope the Sons knew what they were getting into. They were in for a blood bath like never seen before in wars between clubs. Because I just saw the date on Tiggy's phone. Daniel's birthday. Soon. Soon it will go off. And Then it will be over. For me. For everyone in this... Then I felt nothing but pain and blood, blood and pain. I heard screams. Then I realised they were my own before they were joined by other screams of pain and blood. Til the silence.

 **Explosion in Club Building 21st of March**

 **Yesterday afternoon around 2pm there was a large explosion involving highly explosive substances at Sam Crow's club house. Police are still investigating on possible causes. Three bodies were found amonst the ashes.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

 **Mass Murder-Linked to the bombings**

A shocking find of more than 40 odd corspes were found in bush land near the border of Charming. The majority of them being early 20 year old females up to the age of 35. Sergant Conner said in an interview near the crime scene, "That it was horrible what happened to these women. I can't believe anyone could do such a thing."

Multiple knives and torture weapons were located at a small shak near the site and police are searching for the person responsible. Police are urging for the citzens of Charming and towns around Charming to report to the police if they have noticed any strange beahaviour or have heard anuthing about what the possible cause of this horrible, horrible crime.

Investigator and private detective Rose Lee said that no evidence has been found as yet but is certain that the bombings is somewhow related to the findings as the same powder used is stored in the shak found which has the weapons used. She further explains that whoever did do the crimes, they knew what they were doing. And made it quite difficult to trace it back to them. She goes on to say that she and the rest of her team will not give up hope that justice will be done for the women and for the victims of the bombings. For a full report please watch Chanel 7 news tommorrow night at 6 pm.

 **Man found Dead in local dump**

A 49 year old man was found dead, and badly beaten with bruises covering his face, arms and legs. Police have found no suspect yet and are urging citzins to contact crime stoppers for any information on the man found and any suspecious bbehaviour.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Daniel:

I hated those stupid lying scums. How dare they lie and not tell me about my son. because he is, he was. HOW DARE THEY THREATEN MY HANA! She's mine to torment! Don't they get that? She's mind to do away with as I see fit. Not them. They are nothing, she's everything that is mine. She needs only me. I looked at the clock and it was time that the bomb went off. I was a far away so I didn't even hear the beautiful sounds of pain filled screams. pity. But I had other work t do. Soon Hana will see. Hana will see just how far she can run away from me. Not very much I laughed to myself. Chuckling I poured the liquid into the bottle and smiled. It was ready. Even more powerful than before. The Sons won't know what him them. They will pissed and that's ok. Jax wanted to steal her, well fine. He can't have her dead. That's what I'll do. I can't wait. tonight. Tonight I will light him and his club like a light from a candle. And there's nothing Jax, bloody, Teller can do about it. The best part? I will get front row seats, well apart from Hana of course. But ssh. I tell myself putting the bottle away. Not even my mind is safe enough for that. Soon, so soon. Everything is falling to place. _**Tick Tock.**_

I am ready for this. i hope sweet little, lonely and sad Hana is. i will make sure she nows they are paying for what they did to her and teddy. they seem very... Quite on their wives, mothers and daughters. No more complaining about she did this, she did that. No, more, where is she, what did you do. Well, they would have figured that out by now. Insensetive b******* the news writers are put a photo in the paper. Daisy, the daughter of one of them can be clearly seen with that awful to God colour hair. Bright red. Ironically her blood was not the same colour as her hair.

 _ **Tick Tock.**_

So little time to go. i should get a move on now, hurry up Danel. Time's a ticking.

 _ **Tick Tock.**_

I walk to the place I always go and wait for the right time to do what needs to be done. When in place I hear sounds of child's play. I listen for a moment and smile. the moe the merrier. I wlked a far way away, still holding the lead that will ensure no accidents take place. when fully away in a safe and secure place. i press the button. It took only five minutes before it did what it was meant to do. Oh the screams. The screams were priceless. I turned so that hana could see my face and smiled at her expression. She was fighting, still. She was tugging on the rpe trying to remove the cloth around her mouth. But i knew how to tie someone up. it took practice, and I had plenty.

"Sweet sister. Is that not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?"


	26. Author's Note 1

**Author's note: I have posted fairly mild rated chapters without overly swearing and that sort of thing. However, that has changed recently. What with bombs and things. I do have another chapter waiting but I would like at least 10 reviews before I post, I know I know... I'm greedy for taking your time. But 10 reviews and you will get the next chapter? Could you do that for me?**

 **Thank you all for supporting this story and my take on the notorious Sam Crow Motorcycle club and characters, my own and otherwise. I'm not sure how much longer this particular story will go on for awhile because I'm thinking about writing more Sons stories amongst other Fanfics like finishing off my Harry Potter one and Game of Thrones one. I kind of stopped writing them ones to write this fanfic... Sorry fans for those stories... I am trrying to write more... I just have a job now, so it's a bit harder.**

 **~Nymeria**

 **Remember 10 reviews (please)**


	27. Chapter 26

***Ok, ok. I know I said I'd wait for 10. But you guys are slackos except for one ;). Oh well. I hope you enjoy the chapter and whatnot, revew review, review ok? I like hearing what you think about the direction Never Left is going. How else would ii know to continue...? Thank you for reading :)***

 **~Nymeria**

 **Chapter 26**

Hana

He hit me on the side of the face and made me watch. I heard those terrible screams of pain and started to sob. he smacked me again, harder and pulled my hair so I stood up and he yanked my face near his. I felt his cool breath on my damp,tear soaked cheek.

"Your mine. See that Hana. You were a very bad girl to run away from me. Your mine, for ever. There's nothing you can do. He's dead." He yanked my hair harder, forcing a kiss on my lips. I screamed, trying to let anybody know. But they where too busy with the explosion to worry about me. As they should. Maybe they would be ok. If help came quick enough. He found a good spot, I'd have to admit. Hidden away from sight but can still see the house. He probably has been watching th house from here for months and not even Jax would have known about it... Jax... Abel and Thomas.. I hope... No Hana! I told myself angrily, no time to get all emotional and become useless. I need a plan to get daniel away from me.

He pushed me into a car and slammed the door shut without bothering about a seatbelt. I tugged again at the restraints, but he must have been in the army or something. They were tight. And the bombs... He got the club house too. i just know it! Those women too, i know he must be behind those poor women deaths. Am I going to become another corpse? God I hope not? He wouldn't? Would he?

"Oh Hana, how you must hate to see me... So many questions, yes?" Daniel asked me, his eyes constanly peeking at me throught the review mirror. With the gag I had somewhat of a reason not to talk. So I didn't talk. I sat and glared at him. I hated how he smiled with perfectly, straight white teeth. Teddy was a smaller spitting image of him, but with kinder features than Daniel. It was still hard to say was my son, because that isn't entirely true either, he will always be my son. My son who I lost to his uncle who happens to be his father due to the a****** raped me as a 14 year old child. I looked out the window, and Daniel didn't speak another word til we stopped. Turning off the car I looked where we where parked. At an old little hut. He must have heaps of these sort of places around. I was forced out of the car and shoved forcebly to the front door and had to wait while he tried to unlock the damn door. Inside it was a neat and clean little space with a wooden fire place to warm up the room. The fire was already burning brightly.

He pushed me unkindly into the bedroom with the big wooden bed. It was noted by myself this is what he was after, I wouldn't have it. I shook my head, he nodded. I shook my head again, this time, more aggresively.

"You will do as you are told Hana." Daniel old me in a deadly voice. The ice in his eyes flashed and quickly changed to a slightly crazed look in his eye. I tried to mumble NO! NO! NO! I shook my head, which made my waist length black hair go back and forth between the left shoulder and the right. He used his body weight and had me pinned down on the bed without trouble in 5 minutes flat. He layed on top of me, breathing heavily slightly ad looking his lips. NO! NO! NO! I shook my body trying to get him off, but it gave him a very bad idea. First his shirt then his NO! NO! NO! Then his socks then his NO! NO! NO! Then he began to take off mine. Iwas so weak, the blood loss and tiredness and pain of the day was leaving me weak headed. I couldn't fight, I just wanted this nightmare to end. But it didn't that night. Or the next or the next. I thought to myself, I wanted to die. He's letting me have my hand cuffs off for awhile due to the blisters. Through the day he leaves for a while. I have a plan. It's what keeps me going, for awhile.


	28. Chapter 27

***Thank you for the constant support of two particular reviewers (you know who you are !) I don't think there really is much more further to go with this story due to that I really want to focus on getting some more writing on my other fanfictions and starting up a few more... So, review please... And please enjoy (I should warn you, and sorry about not warning you in the past) this could get quite intense)***

 **Chapter 27**

Jax

When I lost Tara, i thought I would lose myself. I nearly did. But then I thought to myself, I needed to make them pay, whoever did it, needed to pay. And they did. She did. Gemma. So many feelings come to mind when I think about Gemma. Never hate. Angry, but not full out loathing. But now. That the house is to ash, as is my boys and Wendy and Nero. I find myseld lost. I have no idea how to fight this. No where to even begin. I hate how he has her and there's not a jack s*** I can do abut it. I walked faster down the street and noticed a white ute with a canapy. I remember seeing that around the house quite a bit. I wonder if that's... I creep into the house and look inside. No movement in the house. Mustn't be home. I turned away til I heard a slight noise, like a yelp. I frowned. The sound sounded familiar. I crept to the back door and pulled out my gun from holder and counted to three in my head, not even bothering to call back up. I opened the door with a bang and found nothing. i looked in every room and found nothing. I got to the bathroom and slowly opened the dorr. I saw red. I knealed down and quickly pulled my shirt off to stop the bleeding and she struggled against me. not realising who I was.

"Hana, Hana! Baby, it's me... It's me, Jax... Ssshhhh. It's ok, it's ok. Jesus christ! Did you have to do it so bloody deep sweetheart?" I pressed slightly harder and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"Shit."

Without rleasg the pressure, I called Chibs and told him I found her and to get his a** over here with the club, ASAP. After I stroked her hair from her face, thankful she was still breathing. I heard the bikes pull in and sighed with relief. Even though I came here alone, I still wasn''t 100% sure that I would have won in a fight between myself and Hana's brother. I placed her in the recruits car and told him and Chibs who was driving the car to take care of her. I looked around at the very few members left of Sam Crow. The car left and we soon followed it. Getting back at the clubhouse, Chibs had already bandaged her armand stopped the bleeding.

"We have to wait and see if she wants to wake up, laddy. Other than that... there's nothing more that I can do."

Hana

I've never been much for wishful thinking. because that's all it is. thinking. Wh think of something with not just findinding the means to help that dream come to reality. It's a bit pointless otherwise... The headache has gone from where I am now. It's actually pretty nice here, I saw Teddy. And Abel and Thomas with a dark haired lady. She didn't say her name.

"Sweetheart. You know her name." I looked and found a lady with leather jeans, black boots and a leather jacket.

"Who are you?" She smiled.

"You know that too" she said.

"Gemma?" She nodded. I looked probably confused.

"How are you here, how can I see you, and them?" I asked her.

"Swweetheart, you know the answer to that already." Behind her my dad walked towards me.

"Hana bear. Listen to me. You need to move on and stop lingering here. You need to go to the next stage, how else will you truly be happy?" I snorted. He looked distraut. Gemma smiled slightly.

"How dare you tell me about... Happiness... You wouldn't know anything about that!"

He shook his head sadly and turned away and didn't look back.

"You want to know something, sweetheart?" Gemma Teller asked. I shyly nodded.

"Life isn't fair. That's the truth and nothing but the truth. You just have to try again and again til something means something. To me, it was family. I stuffed that up now didn't I? For you, it's yourself, I think. Believing in your own strength and power. Just as important as family, you know." She smiled at me and patted my shoulder tenderly.

"You have looked after my boys so well, let me return the favour sweetheart. Let us go home."

I walked with Gemma for awhile, til all I could see was something you could only imagine...


	29. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 1

**Never Left**

 **(Part two)**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Jax**

I walked over to the seat and sat with a sigh. I have lost my two boys because of a madman and there's nothing I can do about it. And this madman is after my Hana. The scars on her wrist are a painful remider at just how close I came to losing everyone, and the guys. My brothers. I lost many of the Club too. Because of Daniel and what he did. The monster he is. No word has been heard about him. Personally, I think he is licking his wounds and going to wait for the right time to strike. I dare him. Because the Sons will be ready for him. We'll kill him...

"Jax...?" croaked Hana from the bed. I stood up and walked over to the bed where she was laying and sat beside her gently, trying not to hurt her in anyway.

"What is it sweetheart? Did you have a bad dream again? Because I'm here for you... You know that. I'll never leave you again, ever." I stroked her hair and bent down and softly kissed her forehead.

She smiled sadly up at me.

"I didn't know where you where... I got scar..." she mumbled, closing her eyes.

Kissing her on the lips I smiled.

"Don't worry Hana. What he's done... What he's done to our family won't go unanswered for... Hana, I'll kill him. I'm going to kill Daniel Hana."


	30. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Hana

I woke up with a start. Gasping for breath I switched the bedside lamp on, knowing full well that Jax would not be in the room this late at night or this early? I look at the clock on the table and saw that it was just after one.

I pulled myself up and tried to ease my breathing as well as my heart to a steady rhythm. Not that it actually works or anything, but out of habit. Ever since losing the boys and being held by my brother, these dreams have been coming through to me. It really feels like memories when we were younger… When Demetri was still alive, and Dad. But now they are gone. And Mum is nowhere to be found…. As for Daniel… Jax is looking. I know that is what he does every day and every night for the past two weeks. When I focus on breathing he focuses on finding. When I focus on smiling, he focuses on shooting. That's the way things are now.

I don't talk much because I don't know what to say. It's my fault that his sons are dead. I know it in my bones. I just know it. If it weren't for me they would be alive.

Jax must know this I tell myself looking at my reflection from the sliding door cupboard's mirror. My hair now a dirty blonde, looks like a bird's nest with wide green eyes. I look like a nightmare. I pushed the covers aside and walked to the kitchen and grabbed myself a glass of cold water. Sitting at the counter I began to go over the past few weeks of torment over and over. The pounding headache never taking refuge elsewhere but instead finding a home in my mind.

Never have I ever wanted the pain to stop this bad. Before I have tried to… But this… This I have never felt this pain before. Teddy, Abel and Thomas. All dead because of me. And Jax's men. His brothers. Their deaths is on my hands, because of Daniel's sick twisted love for me. If you can evil call that love. It's sick. It kills. I look down at the scars and notice how steady they look, that they don't even appear to waver on my skin. But the fresh ones do. Crooked strips up and down my legs and arms that look like wriggly, red worms.

I sipped my water, slightly warm and I noticed that the sun was seeping through the curtains. It was starting to come up. Soon Jax will come and pretend to have been here the whole time. SO I got up and rinsed my now empty glass and walked slowly, as if in a daze, to the room. I slid into bed and look at the ceiling and listen to the sound of _**drip drip**_.

What a wonderful life I lead is the thought that washes over me when I close my heavy eyes and fall into a now deep and dreamless sleep.


	31. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Jax

I opened the door just as the sun came up. The quiet unsettling to what once was a warm home. Now it's a place that I don't even sleep at, not really. I sigh and put my keys on the bench and walk to the room to Hana. Since waking up she's been different. Not her usual strong self, a shadow of a Hana. No wonder with what she's been through. I walked beside the bed to where she was quietly sleeping, and for the first time it looked like she was not dreaming. Many times I have come home to a panicked Hana. It's only the bad dreams she always tells me.

I walk over to my side of the bed and pulled off my shirt and throw it on the ground. Pulling the blankets aside I crawled n beside her and pull them over us. I wrap my arms around her so that when she wakes up I know. With the faint smell of apple shampoo I sigh and try and get some sleep.

I rolled over to Hana missing. At first I panicked. I quickly shoved the blankets aside and sat up to have Hana walk in still in her p.j's. She noticed the panic of my face and smiled shyly.

"Hana…. I thought something…. I thought something happened." I stood up and walked over and gave her a tight hug. She didn't say anything. She never really did anymore. She struggled to even smile at me let alone anyone else these days. She even didn't go to work anymore, I had to tell them that she couldn't deal with working and to find someone else.

I cupped her chin and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"You hungry, hunny? You haven't been eating lately… You need to eat" I said softly. I took her hand and she let me pull her into the kitchen so that I could make something for breakfast. Before I had even got the coffee on there was a knock on the door. I put the coffee machine on and Hana made no move to answer the door, sitting on the stool staring into space. I frowned sadly and made my way over to answer the door, feeling my gun at my back, a confidence boost.

I opened the door to find Lyla and Tigs. I motioned them to come inside and quietly told them Hana isn't one hundred precent still.

Lyla rolled her eyes at me and smacked me on the arm as if I was the stupid one.

"She lost her son and watched your boys….. _**AND**_ she got kidnapped and made to do things and you're telling us that she's not one hundred percent… This was done because of her _**BROTHER!**_ " Lyla whispered angrily at me. Tigs pushed past and went to the kitchen to see Hana. Lyla shook her head at me and followed suite. Leaving me to feel worthless when it comes to anything relating to what Hana is feeling. Because Lyla's right. That's what exactly happened. That's only the summarised version of it too.

I too then walked to the kitchen after closing the front door and Tigs was already pouring three cups of coffee. He handed the first one to Hana, giving her a warm smile. She took it with shaking hands and sipped. The whole kitchen seemed to breathe in relief.

I sat down at the stool at the end, Lyla sitting between us. Lyla slid over a piece of toast to Hana and she began to nibble at it as I stared at them in disbelief. I looked to Tigs and he shrugged his shoulders as to say, " **women, what are you going to do?** "

"So what are you two going to do today?" Lyla asked the room. She looked at me and smiled smugly as if she knew that she was annoying me with her progress in getting Hana out of her shell.

"I was thinking of just staying home and doing things around here… Why, what did you have in mind?" I looked at Tigs and he gave a pointed look at Hana and Lyla so I focused back on Lyla to see what she would say.

"I was thinking of having a girlie day with Hana over here, you know… The usual, getting the nails done, shopping, lunch, even a movie… I'm sick of always having to stay at home and look after the kids… Not that I don't love them or anything, because I do… It's just sometimes I need me time with a friend you know? So if you could spare her for me for today that would be greatly appreciated."

Lyla looked at me and smirked slightly so that Hana wouldn't see and she turned to face Hana and gave her a warm smile. Hana looked confused and actually looked at me. She probably thought I had planned this madness… Jesus Christ… She can barely get herself up in the morning let alone go out to have "fun." Before…. Before this.. Hana had been on two of Lyla's "fun" girlie adventures. Which usually ended with Hana telling me how thankful I should be that I'm not like that all the time…. Whatever that means.

"Um…" Is the very manly response I could muster out. Tigs smirked at me and I glared at him. A chair scraped against the ground and I looked and saw that it was Hana standing up looking upset.

I quickly stood up and tried to offer her my arm but she pushed me away and rushed to the room and slammed the door shut. I looked at Lyla and her face fell. She started to cry and I was going to walk over to her when Tigs motioned me to go to Hana. He walked over to Lyla and pulled him in his arms.

"It's ok Jax. I've got her, you go and help your old lady now ok?"

Lyla pulled out from his embrace and walked over to me and looked me in the eyes.

"I thought I could help… I wanted to….. She's my friend….. She's…. Been…. My friend…." Lyla sobbed. She embraced me quickly, her tears flowing onto my chest. She slowly pulled away, quite unlike how she did for Tigs.

"Go to her Jax… Bring our Hana back. Bring my friend back to me. Please."

I nodded at Lyla and without another word I turned around and headed for Hana's and my room.

Hana

I slam the door with so much force I make myself wince at the sound of it. I sit on the bed and put my head in my hands and feel sorry for myself because that's all I can do now. How many more times do they have to push me in smiling, and breathing. I don't want to. Can't they get that, can't they understand? I just don't want to even try to be happy any more. Look how that ended up. Teddy… Abel and Thomas all dead. Because of me. Chibs as well. And the new recruit as well that was there in the bombing. All my fault. All because of Daniel. I lie back and stare at the ceiling and not a moment after Jax storms into the room. He stops in the doorway at me and stares at me and I pay him no attention and time stands still as the two of us watch as it goes past. After a while Jax sighs and walks over and sits beside me on the bed and lies back too. He puts his hand in mine and doesn't say anything.

For hours we just lay like that side by side. Not speaking, just hearing the others breathing and heartbeat. I didn't even realise that I had fallen asleep til Jax shook me awake.

I blinked a couple of hundred times to address my eyes to the sudden limited light. I must have rolled over and slept on Jax's chest. Embarrassed I slowly sat up, dirty blonde hair spilling over my face. Wiping my eyes and sweeping hair behind my ears I looked over to Jax who was still lying down just watching this all take fold before him.

"You are the most beautiful in my world."

At first I stopped what I was doing and stared at him. I continued brushing hair out of my face and to Jax's amusement my stomach decided to make its voice heard.

"Someone's hungry" Jax smiled at me. He sat up and got up from the bed and walked to the kitchen without another word. I got out of bed and changed into a comfy dress. After getting dressed I walked to the kitchen and was welcomed to the smell of bacon and eggs being cooked. He looked up when he heard me come in. For a moment it looked like he stopped breathing. He gulped and turned back to cooking our breakfast.

I sat down at my usual seat, the stool to the very left. And waited patiently, as I waited I looked at the time. He should have been making lunch rather than breakfast. For the past few weeks it was ether that I never got sleep or only slept. There was no in between. Was it always going to be that way I wondered? Was I always going to not sleep or always sleep for the rest of my life because of what happened? I don't think I could handle that. I know Jax couldn't…

Jax put a plate before and placed a small helping of food complete with my favourite juice. Mango. I picked the glass up and took a sip and placed it back down on the bench as Jax got himself a much larger serve of food and sat beside me. He began eating his breakfast and I picked at mine. Not feeling that hungry all of a sudden. He looked at me amongst eating and started to frown so I put small spoonful's into my mouth.

"You should eat more sweetheart" Jax told me once he finished eating and cleaned his plate. He walked over to where I was sitting.

"Finished?" He asked. I nodded, knowing full well I wouldn't, I couldn't eat another bite. I just don't eat a lot now. It's starting to show. I think to myself, no duh. That's why Jax is worried about you Hana, how many sizes have you lost already…? Two… three?

"Hana…." Jax sighed sadly. He put down the tea towel and took my hand on the bench and squeezed tightly. I looked into his eyes and understood what he was trying to do and say. Yet I couldn't seem to help myself in anyway or let him help me.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled softly as I looked at our hands entwined together as they have always been.

"I lost them too, Hana."

Jax

"I lost them too, Hana" I said more loudly. I saw the flash of hurt and despair and immediately regretted my harsh words. But I knew she needed to hear them just the same regardless.

She gasped as if she was in shock as I slowly pulled my hand back ready for the onslaught of tears. Instead she smiled at me and began to laugh hysterically. At first I was slightly happy that she smiled then my brain clicked as if to say, don't be happy you fool. This is not her being happy… Not at all.

"I _**KNOW**_ that Jax…. Don't you think I don't? That's my point exactly…. If it weren't for _**ME**_ you wouldn't have lost your boys… I wouldn't have lost Te-…." She screamed. She stood up and kicked the stool out of the way and fell to the ground. I walked over and stared down at the woman I loved who struggled to breathe on the floor. I slid down and sat on the ground myself and didn't say anything and let her cry it out. Knowing this is what she needed right now.

"It's my fault Jax. All of it." She looked at me with tears streaming down her face without shame. And I knew how she felt. Because I thought the exact same way as she did. That this was my fault. That's why I tried to find Daniel every day, and every night. To no avail.

"It's not your fault Hana. Your brother Daniel is the one to blame not you. I understand your pain and where you are coming from. Trust me, I do. But _**THIS**_ …. This isn't your fault. Heck, for ages I thought it was mine… If I stopped him… If I found that….. I could have stopped this so much earlier. But even for a second believe that this situation that we are in love is your fault. Because it's not in any way. Ok? I love you, so I can't…. I can't lose you Hana. If I lose you now. I have lost everything." I took her into my arms and she stopped sobbing, but hiccupped instead.

"If you never met me…" She began.

I pulled back and looked her right in the eye and said, "I'd be dead."

"Remember? You saved me… If it weren't for you and your nursing skills I would have died last year. But because of you I'm alive, because of you both my boys found someone that they wanted to love again after losing their mum. Your boy Teddy…. He got to call you Mummy. He got to see you for the first time. Don't ever regret meeting me sweetheart, don't ever wish for anything to change. You might not like how things the way they are. But things happen for a reason."

Hana stopped hiccupping and nodded.

"I don't really… I didn't mean it… Like that, not really. I just miss them." She explained. I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead.

"I know that. But you need to promise me… You need to promise to keep breathing, to keep fighting. Otherwise what is the point? Who remember our sons? Who will understand just how beautiful they were? Promise me Hana, promise me that at least." I took her face in my hands and she didn't look away, tears still falling softly down her saddened face.

"I promise, always to… Remember them. And… To stay with you."

I pulled her face gently to my lips and kissed her softly tasting salty tears and for once not caring about what we have lost. All due to that I have found my Hana once more…

 ***Well….. I haven't added another chapter in awhile so… Surprise!** I **have gotten a life and all so…. Yeah. I hope this longer chapter makes up for everything and that you enjoy reading and reviewing just as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will try and update soon** **Enjoy my minions ***

 **~Nymeria**


	32. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

 ***The songs have been used as a reference to how the character is feeling, they are NOT my original work, not in the least! (They are exceptional songs)***

Hana

I woke up to Jax still sleeping scrawled across the bed beside me, his arm crushing me into an embrace. I carefully manoeuvred so that I would not wake him. I quickly dressed and went outside. It was about five in the morning but I didn't really feel the pain. With my earphones in My Love by Sia came on and her mesmerising voice and words fell deep into my heart. It spoke to me. I walked around the block trying to breathe steady and started to jog. It seemed to help my moods with exercise.

When Jax said to see if I could take on a hobby I don't think he had this in mind exactly but that's what happened anyway. I've always been skinny and slightly athletic, but the very first time I did this I froze to death and didn't last five minutes before getting a stitch in my side. Now I know to listen to what my body is trying to say to me. Breathe, feel my feet push my body forward, breathe. Repeat. It was therapeutic. The morning sky was just coming up and the colours in the sky were always a beautiful sight to behold this early in the morning.

Whenever I came home I always walked to the house when I got to our street. As of yet Jax was unaware that this was my new hobby. I thought it would probably be best not to tell him that I'm alone early in the morning when he is asleep after everything that is happening. Sometimes even I think what I'm doing is quite silly, even stupid… If something where to happen he wouldn't know where I was, yet, he still is unaware. Several days later.

I opened the front door quietly just as it was going onto six in the morning. And headed for the shower. Halfway to washing my hair Jax came into the bathroom and smiled at me.

"Morning beautiful." He started brushing his teeth and staring at the view. Rolling my eyes I turned around and continued to wash my hair, once done I ran the water over me and then turned the water off and got my towel of the bench and wrapped it around myself before stepping out. Jax smirked slightly.

"You know that that wouldn't really stop me… Not really.." Jax told me cheekily grabbing me around the waist.

"I know" I said slapping him away, not hard. He pouted and went back into the bedroom and I followed to find some clothes. I got out short denim shorts and a black tank top and went back in the bathroom. Once dressed I went into the bedroom to find Jax still lying on the bed watching me. His eyes followed me every step I took.

"See anything you like?" I asked him sarcastically. He chuckled softly, smirking.

"There's this girl…" He grinned cheekily. I walked over to the bed and that was that…

Jax

After getting my way I kissed her full on the lips and told her I had a few things to take care of. She looked at me with uncertainty.

"Not those sort of things love, normal things… Like shopping. We need food. Wendy and Nero are coming over tonight. They haven't been around since… Well. They've kept their distance. For you."

I got up and got dressed again to Hana's dismay. I felt a smirk on my face. And kissed her again, this time on the forehead.

"I won't be gone long my love, I promise. Get the house pretty, wear something nice."

I left her in the bedroom and went outside already her keys in my pocket for her car. I walked into the nearest store and bought ingredients for spaghetti bolognaise. Something that even I could make easily. I noticed a packet of ice-cream that Hana loved and got some of that too, desert ready to go.

At the cash register Hana's old work college put me through. All the way asking me how she was.

"She's better, thanks. Emma..? Right?" She nodded, reminding me of a bobble head.

"When can she work?" She asked the millionth time.

"I don't know. She's better but I don't think she's ready to work again just yet…" I grabbed my few bags and walked away before she could ask me it again for the millionth and one times.

I put them in the passenger seat and drove home to find that Hana had in fact tidied up a bit, even putting fresh smelling candles, sandalwood. I open the door to a beautiful smelling home and to a prettified Hana if that was even possible. A massive change from a few days ago when she wouldn't even get out of bed. Instead she was replace by the Hana I knew and loved, one that was dressed in a modest black dress that had long sleeves made out of lace with curled, blonde hair.

I put the ice cream away and got out all of the things needed to make the dinner when Hana felt it better for herself to take over dinner.

"Probably best sweetheart, I suck at cooking anything remotely revolving around mixing things together…" I smiled as she kissed me softly on the cheek.

"I know" she replied, smiling slightly, placing the mince in the pot. Once the sauce was already done and the past only needed a few minutes left both Wendy and Nero arrived together. Ever since Gemma, Nero has become smitten with Wendy. I welcomed them in and they both said how wonderful dinner smelled. Thank goodness Hana took over I thought to myself otherwise they probably be stuck with something simple as toast with vegemite and jam…

Wendy went straight to the kitchen and gave Hana a hug quickly and asked how she was feeling lately.

"Better thank you. It's still hard… But I'm going to cope. Thanks to Jax." Hana looked at me shyly and smiled. Wendy looked at Hana and then me and smiled knowingly. She whispered something to Hana out of my earshot and I felt out of the loop. Let them keep their secrets I thought.

"So?" Nero said to no one in particular.

"Oh, forgive me… Just let me drain the pasta and serve up. Then we can eat dinner, you must be all hungry" Hana said to the everybody. She moved quickly getting everything done so that we could eat. The table already set superbly we ate and chatted small talk.

"This is amazing. Hana, you must have made this.. I know Jax's cooking… This. This is good!" exclaimed Wendy. Hana smiled politely at her and nodded.

"I did, yeah. Otherwise we'd end up having to eat toast or something" she laughed. She must be physic I thought to myself…

 ***More is coming soon. It's just getting late… So enjoy and review too** *****


	33. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Hana

For a while I lost the belief in being sad. Some may think that's a ridiculous thing to think… There is no belief in being sad. I think that is stupid. Of course there is. Just like there is a belief in being happy. It's how you look on life really.

I passed the bowl to Wendy with the ice cream and smiled at her. She smiled in turn.

"Thanks Hana, I'm so glad you found a home here. It's quite lovely isn't it?"

As I passed her the dessert my fingers touched hers and she squeezed gently. I smiled again, sadly. I moved onto giving Nero and Jax their desert and once done I sat down to eat my own little piece of paradise.

"This is so good, Jax says this is your favourite…" Nero said trying to ignore the slight tension in the room. I blinked a few times.

"Sorry. What?" I asked him, not listening to what he said due to enjoying the taste of my favourite ice cream.

Jax chuckled and shook his head.

"See, told you. She's in the zone when she eats that stuff." Laughing, Jax shook his head at me again. I squinted my eyes at him and frowned, unsure if I was supposed to be offended or not. Seeing my face he smirked and continued talking with both Wendy and Nero while I stared off into space.

Wendy and Nero left about half an hour after desert and an hour after that I had already got the kitchen cleaned with help from Jax. Lying beside him I sighed.

"What..?" He stopped stroking my bare arm and looked me into the eyes. I snuggled closer to him and sighed again.

"What..?" He smiled. He pushed me away gently and I sat up, blonde hair falling down my back. He smiled gently and kissed me softly on the cheek.

"I love you Jax."

"That was what you were sighing about…? Really? Because you've said it before. Hell, I've said that I love you a thousand times. Because I do, a lot." He smirked and pulled me closer.

"I sighed because after everything I still can't believe your mine. That you belong to me and I belong to you. You are the reason I keep going… Without you I would… I would have.." I looked down and didn't look at Jax's face. A silence fell except for the sound of our breathing. His hand caressed my cheek and I looked up to see him have tears in his eyes.

"I know sweetheart, I know. I've…. Seen them. I want to help you… But I don't know how to… How can I help." He pushed his hair back and wiped his eyes. Kissing me he pulled me to him in a tight embrace as if I was a small, fragile thing that he could never let go. I let him. Kissing him back my dress pulled up slightly and Jax took that as an invitation.

Jax

Breathing softly, I cherish the way she sleeps peacefully. More often than not I wake to Hana having severe panic attacks over what she went through. She still doesn't go in great detail about what her sick in the head brother did to her. But I can only imagine. The Midnight Riders somehow left town without a single person noticing. Myself included. How strange.

I get up without disturbing Hana's sleep and get dressed quickly. Getting my bike keys I write a quick note saying I have a few errands to do and place it on the bench so that she can see it in the kitchen.

I locked the door behind me and get on and take off. Heading to the club house I noticed Tigs and Happy's bike already there. As well as the other new recruits cars. I park the bike and head inside to where everyone was already waiting.

I sat at the head of the table and tell everyone to tell me any news.

"I've no word from Ireland about Intel on the The Midnight Riders. They've never heard of them before." Spoke up Tigs. I nodded, knowing I wouldn't get anywhere with our Irish contacts.

"What news from the Chinese? Anything?", I slammed my fist on the table and the newest recruit flinched. I sighed.

"Sorry Jax. Nothing." Happy said telling me the news I already know.

"So what have we exactly accomplished?" I questioned aloud. And the club remained silent. Furious I asked again.

"What. Have. We. Done?"

"Nothing. Jax, we are trying our best…" Tigs answered gently, trying to calm me down. I glared at him and he didn't say another word.

"They blow up our people, they murder my sons and they take my old lady. Remind me again what they have got given in the return…? Anyone?" I snapped, looking around for someone to dare to answer me in this mood. I shake my head and smirk angrily.

Bashing the hammer on the table.

"Meeting adjourned. After all you must have important things to do, do you not and not protect our people. " The recruits left and Happy was going to stay behind but Tigs moved him along. Since Chibs death in the first bomb, he has become my second hand man. I pulled a hand through my hair and waited for the lecture I knew I was going to get.

Sighing I turned to look at Tigs.

"When was the last time you slept man. You look like the walking dead?"

I looked at him and closed my mouth because I didn't have a clear response. I had off and on sleep. Not deep sleep. I've been so worried about making sure Hana was ok and that she wouldn't do anything stupid in my absence I hadn't really given much thought to how terrible I looked.

Tigs simply nodded at my lack of a response. He sighed too and folded his hands across his chest.

"You have to stop blaming the club. And yourself for what happened to Chibs and the boys Jax. It ain't healthy. Like I get it man. I do. When those bastards did that… To my little girl… I cracked too. You know it. I know it. I wasn't me. But the thing is… I wasn't you. Your our president. You need to better than what we are. You need to be everything we can't be. Hell Jax, sometimes you have to not even show us what you're really feeling. But the way your acting out. Blaming us? Jax…"

Tigs looked me in the eyes and I knew it was coming. The question I have been dreading. The one I thought everyone would have forgotten to ask by now. But no. It seems that no matter what I do I always mess everything up. No matter what it is. I messed up with Tara, with protecting my boys and protecting Teddy and Hana. But this, this is beyond cruel .This can't be happening right now. But it is.

Tigs opens his mouth and the words escape.

"Jax… Where were you that night when Daniel murdered your sons? I had to call you… How did Hana get taken if you were there…?"

Funny how the truth always seems to find you where you go, no matter where you maybe, or who you are with. It's like it's a person ready to spring on you the grand reveal. Where was I…? Well.

 ***Gosh I love writing these longer exciting chapters…. Haha, This chapter was the hardest for me to write because I had to make sense of who I hadn't killed of yet haha… Does that make sense. So let me make you become aware…. In the first bombing explosion the fatalities was Chibs, the recruit at the time and Steve (Daniel's man). Whereas in the recent bombing involved at the Jax's and Hana's old house** **it's believed to only have had two fatalities…Hint. Hint. I hope you like where this is going because this has been fun to write in a sort of cruel way…Since I do like to kill off characters…. Well at least I'm not AS bad as Gorge.R. (yet)…. Please review** *****


	34. Never Left (Part 2) Capter 6

Chapter 6:

Jax

I looked at Tigs and breathed through my teeth slowly, I have a habit of doing that when I'm nervous or frustrated. Or even both. I thought to myself that this is it. This is what I have been dreading for the past few weeks for someone to finally ask me the question I have been dreading ever since I found Hana.

Where was I?

 **The day of the Bombing…**

I walked to the kitchen and saw Abel and Thomas sitting at the table eating breakfast with Hana drinking her coffee. She sadly smiled at me without showing the boys. At least she was up I thought to myself. Ever since Teddy passed away she's been losing more and more of herself and sometimes I would swear that the person before me isn't even Hana but really a ghost of a girl. Not that I really could blame her. If something happened to my boys I don't really know what I would do…

"Morning Abel and Thomas… Hana." I said to them as I took a cup of coffee and also sat at the table after I kissed Hana on the cheek. She flinched slightly and I ignored it for the sake of the boys. I drank my coffee to the sound of Abel talking with Hana softly, something about an art project that he had to do.

I looked at Thomas, nearly three now and smiled. He was getting so big and his dark hair and hazel, green eyes looked so much like Tara's I frowned slightly.

"Daddy?"

I blinked and saw that Abel was talking to me. Hana was looking into her now empty cup without giving me any sort of help. I smiled at my oldest son.

"What's up Abel, sorry?"

"Weren't you listening? I have to make something for art and I was maybe going to make a T-rex! Auntie Hana said she would help me if that was ok with you?" I looked at Hana and she shrugged her shoulders, as if to say "how could I refuse that?"

"Of course that's ok buddy. Do you need to get a few things for it?" I asked him with mild interest.

"I dunno… I will have to look it up on how to make one first."

I patted him on the back and smiled. "Good idea, Abel." He continued to eat his cornflakes in silence while I stood up to leave. I noticed Hana looked up at me in the eye for the first time that morning.

"Where you going?" she asked me, standing up also. We walked to the sink and I placed my mug in the dishwasher and she did the same.

"Out" I said as an explanation. She frowned. Folding her arms she stood in front of the exit to the kitchen.

"Where?" She questioned me. Annoyed I pushed her aside and got my Sons jacket on. I messed up Abel's hair as I walked by and kissed Thomas' forehead.

"Be good boys for Auntie Hana when I'm out ok? Abel help with looking after Tommy. I'll be back." I turned for the door, but Hana grabbed my arm. I tugged so that Hana and I would not be in sight of the boys outside the house.

"What do you want from me Hana…? What's your problem?" I asked frustrated.

"My problem…? How…. Dare you! You….. You are my problem. For weeks now you have been going out, doing… God knows what!" Hana hit my arm, hard. And I let her. Knowing full well I deserved a lot worse. I took my arm away from her, and ran my hand through my hair sighing.

"Can you just drop it? Please. Seriously, whatever you're dealing. It sucks, Jesus Christ if I lost the boys…" I started, but the look on her face made me stop. Hana got a look on her face unfamiliar to me and she began to laugh.

"You… Think…..Oh my god, Jax…! Do you think I'm stupid? Do you honestly think so little of me. Yes I'm upset about Teddy and what happened with him. I will never, ever forgive Daniel for it. But no. That is not what I'm here for…. Can you guess what that is?" She said rather loudly. She sat on the ground hopelessly and began to cry. I made a move to offer her a shoulder to cry on, but she pushed me with such force that I bumped into the door with a _**thud**_.

"Don't you touch me" Hana told me coldly, tears streaming down her pale face. Her bright green eyes flashing with anger, and hurt.

Then I knew that she knew. That she's always known really. Or maybe she has only just put two and two together. But she knew.

"How long has it been going on Jax?"

I sighed. I sat on the ground beside her, hearing her sobs die down until I could only hear the shallow breathing of the person love the most.

"Awhile."

Hana

I stared at the ground willing for it to swallow me whole. Waking up without Jax does that to a person with insecurities such as myself. I have a lot of them these days. Honestly I don't even know why I believe that I can find any sort of happiness when it comes to Jax sometimes. Sooner or later, fate will get in the way and tear us apart. I grab the small box under the bed and open it to the letter my mother Lena wrote me for my birthday that awful day.

 **My Dearest Hana,**

 **How much you must resent me. But I hope these past few weeks the ability to see your son has given you the chance to somewhat forgive me. As I am yet to have to forgive myself. Being a leader of a Club is no easy thing as I'm sure your Jax will tell you. I'm so sorry for how it has come to pass and that you needed to leave your family because what your brother Daniel did all those years ago. Both your Father and I have struggled to contain his rage without much success it would seem.**

 **I hope you keep these photos of your son from his childhood and of yours. They share your story and that needs to be remembered, no matter how painful it might be for you. For since seeing you and watching you once more, I have seen just how strong a person you have become. And I'm privileged you have given Teddy the chance to get to know his mother,**

 **All my love beautiful girl. For I think I don't have much time left for giving you, your son.**

 **Always,**

 **Your mother Xx**

I stare at the words once more and know she's right. No word has been heard from Lena in weeks. Ever since the bombing. And I know Daniel has at least somewhat of an idea on why that is. Just like I know our Father was killed because of him. And Demetri. After all this time I still wonder if Demetri ever saw another side of life. I hope he had. Because it's so much better being free.

I put the letter back in its envelope and place it where it belongs in the box. Instead I get the photo album out and look at the pictures of my childhood. The ones where we were happy. Before I knew that what Daniel was doing was wrong, that a brother should never do that to his little sister. But I didn't. I was young, and I loved him. And he hurt me in the worst possible way. Tears fell onto them, luckily they were protected through the sleeve of the album and so would not damage. I decided that I had looked at those ones enough and flicked to the more pleasant ones at the back. My mother having filled five whole albums with descriptions for me about Teddy and his early life. Including the few photos he had with me. Those were the ones I cherished the most. The ones I would never get rid of, the ones that would always stay with me. The ones I loved.

There is one that I especially love. It's of my father and Teddy. Dad has Teddy on his shoulders and they are at the beach somewhere and Dad looks younger, smiling. They both looked happy. In the description mother wrote,

 **Your Father and Teddy, The first real time apart from when he knew where you were when your Father was truly happy. Oh how your Father loves both you and your son. He would do anything for the both of you to keep you safe.**

I put them all back in the box under the bed and lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I've been doing that a lot lately. It helps me refocus. I don't know why. So many memories of when I was younger flash to my head trying to seep through but I force them down. Knowing if I let them out there was no way I would be able to stop the water works, even for a little while. I heard the click of the door and knew it was Jax opening the door. It was after three. And I was still in nothing but his t-shirt.

The sounds of his heavy footsteps made me sit up and try to smile for his benefit. When he opened the door my smile stopped to confusion…

"Tigs? What are you doing here?" I asked as if in a daze. Tigs looked me up and down, noticing my tear stricken face.

"I'm sorry sweetheart…. Jax…. There's been an accident at the club house. You're going to have to come with me."


	35. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Jax

"It's complicated Tigs."

He shook his head at me, it wasn't a good enough reason. Or excuse.

"Why weren't you with your sons and Hana at the house Jax?" Tigs asked again, how many times I don't know. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to breathe evenly.

"You wouldn't understand" I told him quietly. More to myself than to him really. Tigs clipped me around the head.

"Ouch man! What was that for?" I patted my head and it hurt to touch.

"You just don't get it, do you Jax? The Club has been talking. They aren't that sure what to do with you and the lack of anything being done to solve the problem of The Midnight Riders. Shit Jax's… What have we done? Your right nothing… We've done nothing because you haven't told us to do anything to catch those aholes. But hey? What would I know… I'm just your vice-president that you don't talk to anymore. Kind of reminds me of a certain President named Clay… Keep your secrets then Jax, but for god's sake. Don't let it be the death of the club."

Tigs shook his head and walked away with a slam of the door. I sighed and a sinking feeling took place in my chest, like it was telling me that there was worse to come.

I needed to do something fast about the Club otherwise I'd have a revolt on my hands. That wouldn't be good. No longer can I rely on Chibs to pull the slack. Because he's gone. Thanks to me telling him to look after that guy of Daniel. Him and the recruit. Just like Thomas and Abel, and Teddy. Heck, I could even say sometimes even Hana is far beyond my reach.

I needed a plan. A good one. And I thought to myself when have any of my plans ever been good ones let alone worked? Oh wait, that would be never… But it needs to happen. And fast.

 ***I thought that you might want another chapter. Short and sweet though. Honestly, I'm not sure 100% on how I want this to pan out just yet… I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I have a fair idea of how I would LIKE to, a big happy family reunion with Abel, Thomas and Teddy suddenly appearing. But that wouldn't really be realistic now would it?**

 **If you would want to tell me your thoughts about how it might end I am always looking forward to what you have to say about my fanfics. You've all been amazing my minions.**

 **But first, Hana and Jax are in for a hell of a ride. Let's just see if they can make it through-together. Happy reading (and reviewing).**

 **~Nymeria**


	36. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Lyla

He still hasn't come over yet. I thought after she settled he would. That he would give me the decency to say what he was feeling, but as of yet. Nothing. I shouldn't be surprised. It's him for god's sake, not some gentleman. Because he isn't, he's done it to all his old lady's. She wouldn't be an exemption, it just so happened to be that he was doing it with. I didn't mind, to be honest I thought to myself, I wanted it.

After Opie, all I've done really is look after his children and work. Never have I had a life outside of that. It's been years since Opie's death. I was flattered by the attention, and it kept coming. When she was out he would call me over for a while or if the kids were staying over at friend's places I would tell him so and soon after I would hear his bike pull into the driveway.

That's what happened that night. When he was supposed to be at home. He was with me, and it's been killing me. I know that she knows about us. Ever since that dinner, she must know. I just wanted to help my friend. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did. That's the lamest excuse.

I roll over and look at the time. Seven o'clock in the morning. Time to get up and get the kids ready. I think it's just going to be one of those days…

 ***Do you understand where this is going…? Please review and tell me what you all think***

 **~Nymeria**


	37. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Hana

I walked into the kitchen and buttered my toast. Throwing on some vegemite I also got myself a cup of hot chocolate. I walked to the chair and sat down to eat my breakfast in silence.

Well, before I heard the sounds of Jax walking into the kitchen yawning. He glanced me up and down, trying to stifle a yawn.

"You're up early, Hana. Did you get any sleep?" Jax asked me sleepily. Pouring himself a cup as well. He took a sip and frowned. He looked in my direction and put the cup down on the bench and sat beside me, still frowning.

"Since when do you get up this early and drink a hot chocolate and not coffee?"

I turned to face him, mid bite of my toast so I swallowed. I smiled.

"Since I started running and that I have decided to be healthier, so I'm trying to eliminate bad habits such as over drinking caffeine. Maybe you should too. You drink more coffee then I ever did," I replied, taking another bite of toast. Jax shook his head, trying to hide his smile.

"You have been running? But it's six in the morning Hana. Jesus Christ. Since when have you started running and drinking chocolate?"

I swallowed and turned back to face my plate and thought to myself, since I learnt that you were cheating on me. Instead I shrugged my shoulders for an answer.

I finished eating breakfast and drinking the now lukewarm chocolate. I walked to the sink all the way Jax still watching me as I start to clean the breakfast dishes.

"Hana, are you still mad with me?"

I turned the water off and wiped my hands on the tea towel beside me, pretending I didn't hear what he said. I turned to reach the cup and nearly walked straight into Jax as he had snuck up behind me.

"Hana?" His voice a question.

"Idon'tkmowJax" I mumbled. I moved around him and I heard a frustrated sigh come out of Jax's lips.

"Hana… I don't even understand you… Next your cold, then you're hot! What is it? Jesus Christ you need to give a guy warning which one you'll be! So that he knows whether to wear a jacket or a bloody singlet!"

He stopped me from going to the sink and took the cup from me carefully and I let him, looking at my feet.

"Why won't you look at me Hana?"

I looked up and glared at him, and he took a slight step back. Shock filled his features and I smiled.

"I'm the hot and cold one, am I? Is that so? Well, should be easy for the feelings of anger I feel to cool right off so you can get exactly what you want, right? Because that's what you want? For me to forgive you and all to be swell."

Jax stepped forward and grabbed me by the shoulders, hard.

"That's what I want…? Is that what you think? That…. Yes I want things to be the same and no I can't take what I did back. Don't you think I don't know that Hana! No matter what I do, I always tend to remind myself exactly what I did!"

His hands dug into my light shirt and he started to lightly shake me but stopped. He let me go and sat at the chair again. Pulling a hand through his hair he sighed.

"You had me look after your sons while you cheated on me with my best friend. And you want me to be ok with that. As long as you get it your way, every other person's feelings don't count because the famous Jax Teller has done it again and hurt somebody again" I snapped angrily, getting Jax to stand up again.

"You think I don't care about your feelings..? You're more delusional than I thought!" He snapped back at me angrily. I shook my head at him angrily, not wanting anything to do with this conversation. I turned around and started to walk back towards the bedroom.

"Hana!" Jax yelled angrily, ignoring him I slammed the bedroom door shut. Facing my back to the door I sat on the ground. The tears fell down onto my shirt all the way down to the floor. Outside I heard his bike screech down the road. Angrily I thought to myself, fine, you don't have to prove that it's true. I already know that you were with her that night. The one night that you were supposed to be home to look after me and the two boys. Jesus Christ, you suggested it to yourself. If you weren't home, it was Tigs, or one of the other members ever since my birthday party…. When I lost. But now? Since her…. I'm lucky if someone remembers that yes I am still around, by myself.

I wiped my tears away angrily, how stupid do you have to be Hana Night? How stupid do you have to continue to be? They aren't any closer of catching Daniel. So why are you even here when he treats you this way.

Then I do something I only do when I am alone and I know that I won't get interrupted. I touch my stomach. I felt a tiny kick under my hand and smiled softly, knowing that no man was ever going to protect my child as much as I would.

 ***I will post more tomorrow, so stay tuned. Please review. How is it going? Do you like how Hana and Jax is reaching that point like in all relationships that could make or break them?** **Because I have watched all the Sons and in every relationship Jax is in, there is always something that could either cause them to stay together or break them. In this fan fiction I wanted to do that too. So, as always, the fun is only just starting…***

 **~Nymeria**


	38. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Jax:

I pull up, furious. Walking angrily to the door I knocked loudly. Ellie Opie's daughter opened the door surprised to see me.

"Uncle Jax…Why are you here?"

"Where is your moth.. Where is Lyla?"

The door opened wider and out came Lyla herself. She gestured to Ellie without looking at me to go inside and Lyla closed the door behind her adoptive daughter.

"You told her?"

Lyla look up and gave me a slight sad smile, shaking her head. Crossing her arms she looked me in the eye.

"She isn't stupid Jax. She was bound to figure it out eventually."

"Yeah, well I would have appreciated it when she isn't an emotional train wreck. I know she still blames herself for losing the three boys" I snapped angrily, pulling a hand through my hair. Sighing I noticed that Lyla was still looking at me with cautious eyes.

"What Lyla?"

"She hasn't told you yet has she? I thought she must have told you by now…. I guess… She has a lot on her mind about everything. She's been through a lot. I know. I feel awful for us…. She's my best friend Jax." Lyla sighed and sat down on the front step and I did the same. We both sighed at the same time. I knew that we wouldn't see each other anymore.

"She's pregnant isn't she?" I asked her. For an answer, she squeezed my hand. I sighed again.

"I don't even know how to fix what Daniel did Lyla. What do I do?"

"You do what you have always do Jax. You do your best" Lyla replied. She moved over and put her arm around me.

"But what if it isn't enough." I kissed her forehead and began to stand up. Lyla stood up as well and smiled softly again at me as I walked down the driveway.

"Wait! Jax!" She called out chasing after me. I turned around to face her after sitting on my bike.

"I don't think you should come around anymore ok. It's not that… Just don't come around ok?"

I smiled at her and nodded.

"I already know, Lyla. Take care of yourself and the kids."

I pulled out of the driveway on my bike and sped back home to where I hope Hana had calmed down since I've been gone. Though in my luck I thought to myself she would have put all my stuff on the lawn and told me to leave… Don't think I would blame her either. I think I have just become stupider. It must come with age… 31 years old and still have no idea how to tell someone sorry.

I parked the bike in the driveway and walked inside to a quiet house. Walking to the bedroom, I opened the door and saw that Hana was fast asleep. I crossed to the bed and covered her with a sheet and moved a strand of hair that escaped from her hair tie. I kissed her fore head and took my jacket off and crawled in beside her. The club could wait.

I must have fallen asleep. I woke up to Hana shaking me.

"Tigs is here. He wants to talk to you about something, and before you ask, he didn't say what." Hana walked to the doorway and left without so much as another word. I groaned. Seems like Hana was still pissed.

I sat up and moved my hair away from my eyes and walked out to the lounge room and saw that Hana was sitting on the couch with Tigs so I took the one seater chair. I noticed that Hana had no intention of leaving.

"Hana has a plan Jax."

I looked at Hana surprised and she raised an eyebrow. As if to say, "what? I can come up with plans too you know."

"So?"

"So I do what he wants. I meet with him" Hana said in a voice without emotion.

"You what..?" I stood up.

"Told you he wouldn't go for it Han" Tigs muttered to Hana.

"Well I don't honestly really _**care**_ if he _**goes**_ for it. It's my decision. Not his" Hana replied, looking at her hands. Intentionally not looking at me.

"Hana… I have tried to talk to him… I've tried to.." I started to say before she cut me off.

"Tried… Oh really? You have accomplished nothing. You don't know him like I do. He is my _**brother**_ Jax. Not yours." She stood up and faced me, finally staring into my eyes, but with anger and no trace of any sort of forgiveness or love.

"I won't be able to protect you…" I sat down and shook my head at Tigs and he shrugged his shoulders.

"What? She has to get him to even meet with her first…" was Tig's reply. I shook my head again. I looked at Hana, defiant. No matter what I did I know she would do whatever she wanted to.

"What's the glorious plan then?"

"Don't tell you the plan" Hana patted Tigs on the shoulder and left the house and I heard the car go.

"She isn't going now is she?" I looked to Tigs with panic. He shrugged his shoulders half-heartedly.

"She's the best one to get to talk to that ahole Jax. You and I both know it and so does the club. And so does she. She called me here, to talk to you. To get you to, well get a grip. You need to listen to her. Jax. Hana has a plan and she's going to go through with it. She was talking to me before about what she's done in the past to escape him… Has she told you?"

Tigs looked at me sadly and probably from my expression he got the idea that my knowledge from her past life was limited.

"I know he… He raped her, multiple times when she was young before she ran away at fourteen… What else could be possibly worse than that?" I asked him. Tigs sighed and it was his turn to shake his head.

"That's only the half of it Jax. Her brother Daniel is a bomb expert. She's a trained assassin. Have you ever wondered just how she knows the things she knows? Jax she is a trained killer."

I looked at him and said to him quietly, "So is Daniel."

Hana

I'm actually going through with this. It took all of two days to find a contact of Daniel's and arrange a meeting. I made sure it was at a public place. So the tiny café place near the club house would do.

I open the café door and tiny bells rang once I opened it and closed it shut. I must be early. I sit in the middle of the café and order just a water. The young girl comes back shortly with it and at the same time I heard the sound of bells and looked towards the door. Daniel noticed. He glanced me up and down and around the small café. Smiling, he walked over and sat at the free seat without saying anything.

"Hana."

 ***So this is what it has come too. Are you keen? Please review. I won't be able to post for a few days but as soon as I can I will post another chapter.***

 **~Nymeria**


	39. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Daniel

I smiled at Hana and she frowned slightly. I widen my smile.

"So, how do you want to do this? Me be silent and you demand answers? Or do you want to go that I talk about what has happened up until this point? Either way, it's up to you little sister."

I watched her and she dropped her gaze and began to fiddle with a strand of her. Nothing has changed. It seems that I still have power over here. Perfect I thought to myself silently. I smiled once more at Hana's silence. Knowing full well that it was I who made her nervous.

"Enough with the games Daniel. Why would you hurt Teddy and two innocent children… They had nothing to do with this, this…Thing you have towards me."

Hana's face filled with anger quickly and she spoke to me looking me straight in the eye, nervousness gone.

"I never meant for Teddy" I started to say, my voice cold. I swallowed and looked down at my hands. I never once wanted to hurt our son or Hana, never once. It was Jax and the Sons I wanted to hurt. Not my own family. So when I heard that those…. Imbeciles killed my own son… I thought back to the ever growing piles of dead bodies stacking up in a ditch somewhere and I was immediately calm.

"They paid for what they have done. Let me assure you, Hana. I never once wanted Teddy hurt. Or you. It's that damn club I want to hurt. Not you."

Hana shook her head at me and smirked.

"Yeah right. You're the leader of Dad's club now because you…. _**Killed him off**_ " whispered Hana so that no one else could see.

"Well. Father is dead, I'd be lying if I said he wasn't. Do you have any news from mother though? Haven't heard from her in awhile" I asked with mild curiosity.

"What, you haven't killed her off too?"

"Now why would I do that? She was the person that got you being with Teddy. Do you think me a monster? That woman raised our child like it was her own. He trusted her. Why would I kill her? It would have been a selfish thing for a father to do to his only son."

Hana

I looked at Daniel and knew instantly that he was telling me the truth. It still made me be angry.

"You should have done _**something**_ " I semi-whispered, semi-yelled. I clenched my fists and looked away from him and sipped on some of my water.

"What do you honestly want me to do Hana? _**Leave?"**_

I looked up at his face and saw his palm facing upwards as if he had no idea what could honestly be on my mind.

"I want you…"

I didn't finish that question. But his face fell and I knew he understood the end to it. I wanted him dead. I was trying rather effectively at the present moment to not reach over the table and strangle the life out of him, the waitress be damned.

"I don't honestly know what you would want me to do Hana, the club likes it here, they have settled. My man Johno has got two kids and they have started school here and are doing well. Or so he keeps telling me. Do you want me to tell him to make his kids jeopardise their education…"

I slammed my fist on the table, loudly. The salt and pepper jumped up slightly and shock was clearly seen on Daniel's face.

"If you don't leave by next Thursday. I'll have you all dead by Mother's Day," I stood up, took another sip of my water and turned around to walk out the door.

"Hana, wait!"

I turned and saw that Daniel himself had stood up and was walking towards the door after me.

"Leave me alone, _**brother**_ " I snapped angrily. Without another word I left the small café and headed to my car.

I got to my car and began to do my breathing exercises so that I don't go under a panic attack. That wouldn't be the best time to do such a thing I thought to myself angrily.

He still has power over me, even after all this time. Even after Teddy, and Thomas and Abel and taking me hostage. After everything. I don't understand. I just don't want him anywhere near me, ever. I don't think I could cope with him being in the same state let alone the same town. Charming likes to talk. If the normal everyday people talk that there is two rival gangs, the police will be on the doorsteps of all Son's club members. They must already think something is going on I thought to myself. All those deaths..

I wonder why no police has come after the Sons directly unless they have and the Sons have covered it up…

I didn't think I could do this but I did. So I put the keys in the ignition and sure enough he followed suit. It's a good thing everyone stood by the plan and let me go through with this. I hope Tigs did what I asked. He's good though. He would have.

I drove a bit further, counting down. _**29,28,27,26**_ until the turn off that I had thought was a perfect time to turn off _**15,14,13,12,11,10**_ I kept driving and continued to look in the mirror and he was still following _**5,4,3,2**_ all I could think of when it went off was that I would be able to see the boys again, and to see Gemma.

 ***Hana's journey through Never Left has been an emotional one, to say the least. She was strong and then she was weak, and then strong again. I fell that some of her strength was once again found when in her last moments she was focusing on what she will get to see on the other side rather than what she was in fact doing which was ending her and her brother's life. And now the Night Family ends. But does the Never Left story end? Now… That wouldn't be very fair to you now would it? See you in the next chapter.***

 **~Nymeria**


	40. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 12

Jax

Never have I thought I knew it was the end quite like this. I knew she would be doing something stupid, after all usually when someone doesn't tell you something it's because they themselves know it's stupid. But this was something like a cherry on the top of the whole damn cake stupid, jesus christ. To think she didn't even want to say goodbye to me was heart breaking, and yet as I watch as she lay to rest next to her son that's all I can think about. Just how much she must have hated me.

I couldn't save our little family, I couldn't save her, her son or my own two boys. How on earth did I think to even believe that it would all work out ok in the end if we were just together? Because I believed our love would battle on regardless of what had happened. She isn't Wendy, she isn't Tara. I don't know what Tara would have done given the chance if she was in Hana's shoes. She probably would have just left and done nothing. Hana, Hana was the bravest person I know. She sacrificed a chance of finding a life with a bit of happiness to get rid of a monster in this world.

My life is completely and utterly at a standstill. How much more does this need to go on. Once I wanted to end it and was saved by Hana, where is Hana now. Then I remember. Dead, she's gone. Just like Abel and just like Thomas and just like Teddy. They're all dead and I don't want to be the only thing still breathing because I'll waste whatever pathetic life I will lead.

After the funeral Tigs tried to talk to me but I brushed him off, he said something about how important it was but I didn't care, I only cared about my own self-loathing and destructive ways.

I think I need a drink.

 ***I haven't written in so, so long. I'm not dead, trust me. I have just been working a lot and been so tired to put words onto a Word document and upload it. Short and sweet though it may be, but I hope that is how long Jax's suffering will be… Let's see what happens together, See you in the next chapter and don't forget to review, ok?***

 **~Nymeria**


	41. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **Tigs**

I watched as Jax walked away and sighed inwardly. This whole mess was just that, a mess. I couldn't tell him that this is what she wanted, she made me promise, and that I did. I promised her to not tell Jax, to give him her letter after her funeral. I haven't read it, it seems too private for me to read. So I tuck it in my jacket and get on my bike, hoping Jax was at home.

I pull my bike up in the driveway and knocked on the front door, a tired and depressed looking Jax opened the door. He still wore the clothes that he had on when Hana was buried, two days ago.

"You gonna let me in Jax?" I asked. He pulled the door opened further and gestured inside. He sat on the chair in the lounge and I took the couch, the same seats we were sitting in when Hana told me what she wanted to do. Jax must have felt the same way because he got up and went into the kitchen. I waited for him to come back and he sat on the couch with me, a drink per hand.

"Cheers, Jax. How you holding up?" Jax smiled coldly.

"How on earth do you think Tigs?"

I sighed knowing full well I deserved that one at least.

"I have something for you, that's why I'm here… She… Hana…" I saw that he perked up at her name, probably thinking I had her safely hidden away in my pocket or something. No such luck, just the letter. I pulled out the thick letter and handed it over, fully sealed. Jax looked it over and looked at me curiously.

"I didn't want things to happen the way they did mate, trust me on that. The Club… Well, the Club understands if you want to kick me out…Or…. Heck Jax, I understand if you wanted to kill my dumb ass. But I did it not for you, but for her. I'd do it a thousand times over if I had to. She was always there to have a chat and she was always so insightful to others problems and she knew it needed to be done. And I'm so sorry that it did in fact happen, but never will I ever want to take away someone's choice like that. I'm sorry Jax."

I stood up and he stared at my face. I waited for him to say something like I'm going to kill you, or I want you dead, but it didn't happen. Instead he stood up, placed Hana's letter on the couch and gave me a hug.

"I know, you did what she asked and I can't fault you on that. Knowing her she probably had it all planned out for weeks."

Jax let go and stepped back slightly. Picking up the letter he shook his head and smiled sadly. I smiled sadly in return. I turned around and headed for the door, opening it I turned back and noticed Jax had already left. I closed the door behind me with a small _**click**_.

Jax,

It's a bit hard to imagine what you must think towards me right now. I guess I'm lucky in a sense because I will never know.

I thought so many times that this was the happiest time of my life, but then I wouldn't be lying to myself, I'd be lying to you as well. I try and be as honest as I can. Sometimes it doesn't go according to plan, but I try to stick to it. It's a moral sort of thing.

As a kid, my father always said honesty is quite rare in this kind of work and I would have to agree with him, in this life so many things rely on lies and how they play out. Like the lie that I would always be there for you if you needed me. Because I'm not, and I won't be. Because I'm gone forever. If I think about it honestly, I'm a very selfish in that regard.

My brothers and I at a young age was taught to kill, I hope that because I wrote that you destroy this letter so it doesn't go into the wrong hands. But that was our mission in life, to kill who we were told, be it a man down the street or another president of a club. It didn't matter who it was, it just had to get done without our hands getting dirty.

I ran away because they wanted me to go alone for the first ever time, usually Demetri came with me and he did it instead of me and just told father I did it. I think he saw through it though, just never said anything. Try telling a 14 year old Hana you have to kill her teacher because he was a rival club member and they were getting fighty towards our club. You'd scare the heck out of her, because before it was just random people, training people. Demetri was good at it. Sometimes too good at it. I got the impression multiple times Daniel was jealous not only that I liked him better, but that he was the best at everything he did and only got praise from both father and mother.

I on the other hand was like Daniel, weak and good for nothing except drawing people in. I was good at that. A sweet innocent girl couldn't possibly have ill intentions and they would have been right, my family on the other hand…Not so much.

I tell you this because after all of this… Crazy, I still want someone to understand, me… I want someone to know the real me. I found it hard to love you Jax, let me tell you. You were just a male version of me. Somehow I knew that you were just as freakishly messed up as I was. Yet, just for a flicker of a moment it worked… Did it not? Even for a slight, pure and beautiful moment. We were happy, then life got in the way. The life of us… Haha, oh how you must hate me Jax, how you must despise me. Poor Hana you must think, she's just a poor girl trying to get attention, and in a sense, you'd be right. But screw everybody else. The only person that ever really gave a damn about me was you and your family. Not my own. They only gave a damn when it suited them…When it benefited them.

I'm glad I got out when I did. Heck, I got my first job a few weeks after leaving in a little place called Plainland at a service station. The pay sucked but I earned it by myself without killing anyone, so I loved it. Until I saw a car that I knew was one of my family's. So off I went to my next adventure, I got a plane and went to Sydney. Stayed down there for a bit. Did jobs here and there, then I came over here, to America with all the earnings I got from the little jobs I did. I wandered the streets, did whatever I wanted. And for the first time in my life I felt like I could be somebody other than a criminal. And it made me happy.

Until yet again, but it was Him. Not Demetri this time. Demetri was dead Daniel told me. He killed himself because of me . I didn't believe him, I was sixteen then and thought would he not have killed himself sooner? A cruel thing to say about my brother that I actually loved and cherished but thought it I did. And yet to this day I'm still not sure whether or not Demetri really did die from that or Daniel just had enough from living under his younger twin's shadow, either way, Daniel took it to his grave…

 ***To be continued… Tell me what you think of what's going on so far. I would really appreciate some honest feedback, 'kay?***

 **~Nymeria**


	42. Author's note-Sorry it isn't a chapter

**Author's note:**

Sorry about the lack of chapters my minions. It has been hellish lately. I must admit though I'm disappointed that the fanfiction website does not register what I had formatted for the last chapter, for one, it was in a cursive writing and two it was set out better… So that you know, the last bit After dear Jax was a letter from Hana, obviously to Jax.

I hope to write some more next week. I will try to do this. I promise to try. I hope you can all forgive me. Please keep reading and reviewing when I do get around to it.

Your continuous support makes my day so much better,

Thank you all and much love…

~Nymeria-TheLostWolfQueen


	43. Never Left (Part 2) Chapter 14 FINAL

**Chapter 14**

Jax,

This has been a weird and difficult ride I know. But soon. It will be over I know..

I threw the letter across the room angrily. Damn Hana and her understanding me in a way I couldn't imagine. All that stuff about her family. I sighed and pulled my hand through my hair. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. Mostly I just stayed at home. The club has stopped coming around.

I didn't blame them. I hated being around myself too.

I picked up the letters again and placed them on the bed. I hadn't even read them all. There was a lot. Most were snippets of paper from a notebook, or on just a piece of paper all bundled together. Most of it spoke of her childhood and how she came to America. In most cases her handwriting was quite neat, her style of writing cursive and girly. But it also showed the pain of what she had seen, what she had felt. And that broke my heart, that her death was the only reason I got to find out about it all. Even then I don't know if that's all what happened. Because if she's like me, she bottles them up until she explodes.

I went to the bed and sat down. Leaving the letters untouched on the beside cupboard. I laid back onto my back and closed my eyes to sleep.

 _And I dreamed. At first I didn't realise I was dreaming. But I must have been because I saw her. Bright green eyes, blonde hair. She looked perfect. She smiled at me and I knew instantly that she wanted me to be stronger than she was, that she wanted me to live and that it wouldn't be fair to her if I didn't live. That her death would have been for nothing. I knew that for her I would try to come clean, that I would become the man my boys, our boys would have been proud of. This I would do for them._

 **3 years later**

After all these years I still have kept the letters she wrote. I got her and Teddy's name on me now. Near my chest. I still think about them every day but the pain has somewhat gone. Sometimes something reminds me of a moment with one of them be it our sons or with Hana, and it reminds me just how lucky I am to be alive.

Cutting all ties from the club was the best thing I ever did. Now I just work in a small mechanic workshop fixing bikes and cars alike. I just get by and that's all right with me. I'm the happiest I've been. I hope they are proud,

Jax.

 ***It's one hell of a ride to write an ending to a series that so many people have liked. But there you have it. I don't even know how to go on with my life anymore :3 :3 :3**

 **I hope you have liked this story and continue to stay with me post Never Left Part 1 and Part 2…**

 **Thank you my minions.***

 **~Nymeria**


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